3 Shifts to Make Small Brave Moves with Author Nicole Bianchi
Episode 143
Are you feeling stuck in a rut and trying to navigate through life's uncertainties? Do you find yourself facing constant change, whether at work or in your personal life?
In this episode our guest, Nicole Bianchi shares transformative insights on making small brave moves in the face of change and uncertainty. Through compelling personal experiences and invaluable wisdom, Nicole reveals the devastating impact of withheld information in the workplace and the profound effects it has on trust, results, and relationships. But more importantly, we unfold the concept of "bravership" and the power of making small brave moves.
Nicole shares valuable insights on three key mindset shifts to unlock our potential and propel us toward success. Get ready to be inspired and explore the transformative impact of transparency and the immense possibilities within each of us.
After this Episode, You Will Be Able to ...
Make small, brave moves leading to personal and professional growth
Develop a hope-driven mindset
Navigate through unpredictable situations
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About the guest:
Nicole Bianchi has significantly impacted the careers and lives of C-Suite executives and entrepreneurs throughout North America and Europe. Through teaching "Bravership," a term she coined and written as a reminder on the walls of C-Suite executives across North America, Nicole has changed the trajectory of countless leaders.
After spending 16 years with two powerful Fortune 300 companies, she works as an international speaker, author, and award-winning entrepreneur who partners with executives, leaders, and teams to craft their small brave moves. She has authored two books: Small Brave Moves + Five Tough Talks.
Connect with Nicole Bianchi:
LinkedIn Page
Instagram Page
Facebook Page
Website
About the host:
Danielle Cobo is an international female speaker for organizations, associations, and the public sector. She works with audiences to harness the grit and resilience to lead through change.
With over 15 years of corporate experience in the medical sales industry, she knows how to build high-performing teams that increase sales, productivity, and employee retention. Her expertise includes corporate resilience and burnout prevention.
Danielle is the author of “Unstoppable Grit: Breakthrough the 7 Roadblocks Standing Between You and Achieving Your Goals” and hosts the globally top-rated podcast "Unstoppable Grit Podcast with Danielle Cobo.”
As a former Fortune 500 Senior Sales Manager, she led her team through downsizing, restructuring, and acquisitions to become the #1 sales team in the nation. As a result, she was awarded Region Manager of the Year. Her resiliency motivated her to earn four consecutive national Sales Excellence Awards in a male-dominated industry.
While her husband, a Blackhawk pilot in the Army, deployed to Iraq for a year, Danielle learned to balance a demanding job while caring for their energetic 1.5-year-old twin boys, who possess more energy than a squirrel after a triple espresso.
Danielle’s resilience led her to start her own business, helping others develop the grit, resilience, and courage to thrive in life and business.
Her tenacious attitude stems from being raised by an ambitious mother and recovering from being taken from her father and cast out at 17 years of age.
She is a two-time 60-mile walker and a monster truck driver in Louboutin’s.
Danielle has a bachelor’s in communication with a minor in psychology from the California State University of Fullerton, Certification in Inclusive and Ethical Leadership from the University of South Florida Muma College of Business, and accreditation in Human Behavior from Personality Insights. Inc., and Leadership from Boston Breakthrough Academy.
She is a member of the National Speakers Association, the Central Florida National Speakers Association Chapter, Innovation Women, and a former member of Working Women of Tampa Bay. Danielle serves on the Military Advisory, Workforce Development, and Women of Influence Committees of the Tampa Chamber of Commerce. She is also a contributing writer for Women's Quarterly Magazine.
Her experience includes serving as a Training Pillar on the Military Spouse Economic Empowerment Zone Committee and Career Transition Advisor for Dallas Professional Women.
Through Danielle's captivating storytelling, content-rich and motivational style, she empowers individuals and organizations to cultivate unwavering resilience, igniting a transformative path towards increased sales, productivity, employee retention, and collaboration.
About the show:
The Unstoppable Grit Podcast with Danielle Cobo explores the journeys of people who have overcome adversity and harnessed the grit and resilience to thrive in all areas of their lives, Guests share how they overcame difficult times - the strategies, mindset shifts, lessons they learned along the way, and actions that propelled them forward. From navigating career setbacks to overcoming personal obstacles, each episode is a testament to grit and resilience.
You'll learn how to develop the grit and resilience to lead yourself and others through change.
Join host Danielle Cobo, keynote speaker and author of "Unstoppable Grit: Break Through the 7 Roadblocks Standing Between You and Your Goals." A new episode is released every Wednesday at 4:00 AM EST.
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So, Nicole, you had worked for two Fortune 300 organizations, and in one of the most recent organizations you worked for, you were the Chief Human Resources Officer. This organization was going through a merger, which turned out to be an acquisition. You shared this story with me, and it hurt. It hurts. The moment that stands out is when your husband told you that you were miserable to be around.
A Miserable Reflection
It was a moment that hit deep and hard, jarring me out of the fog I had been living in. I was traveling every Monday through Friday and heading to the new corporate office to be a good partner in the merger. We had implemented new technology and built everything from scratch over the last three to four years, only to come home every Friday feeling defeated, frustrated, like I was hitting my head on a brick wall every week, unable to influence and impact the change.
For 16 years, I have been in roles known for transformation, change, and cutting-edge practices. At that moment, I didn't realize how frustrated and upset I was. The comment he made came from a place of deep love and caring, of course, but until he said that, did I realize just how miserable I was.
Isn't it interesting that sometimes people can become a reflection of us and see things in us that we don't see in ourselves? Some of that is positive, and then sometimes that's negative. I see this a lot.
I see kids can be transparent, and direct when they see things similar to us. Why are you being mean? Or why are you short? Or why are you always angry? Or, sometimes you always look, I know with my kids, I know that I'm in misalignment when they say, "Mommy, do you want to just sit down on the couch, turn on the fireplace and the TV, and we put the fireplace on YouTube and I'll make you a bed?" That's the reality check I needed to realize something was off. And I get to figure out what that is and make some changes. And I imagine that was probably what it was like for you as well.
It had been going on for months and I was only home for a short period on the weekends during that time because we had a short period to influence the change we wanted. I had clear instructions from our CEO through the merger of what we wanted to have happen. And so I knew what my mission was, what I didn't realize was that no matter how hard I tried, the change wouldn't happen. I didn't realize it until that moment.
“Yes, Ma’am” Conversations
It was deflating, frustrating, and there weren't honest, brave conversations being had with me. There was a lot of smiling and nodding. That's what was tough—there wasn't transparent communication across any of the leadership on both sides of both companies. That's where things started stalling and getting in the way of delivering the results we needed.
I call those moments the "yes, ma'am" moments. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Okay. It sounds like they're not willing to have these tough, candid, transparent conversations. And I've been in similar situations with you, where I've worked for a Fortune 500 company. We went through acquisitions, restructuring, layoffs, and even an attempted hostile takeover by a competitor that made global news and in the federal court. What I found through that experience very similar to what you have shared is if there are not honest conversations, then it can erode trust within a team. It can affect the culture of an organization. People begin to feel like they feel deflated because here they're being told they can do one thing, but they're not able to. And. Transparency and brave conversations are essential when leading yourself or others through any change in life, professionally and personally.
Yeah, and I felt like in that situation I was asking the right questions. But there was definitely this. We didn't want to upset anything or people to be upset, but we're really not going to head. So it showed up in ways where they were slowing progress down or, we're now a much larger company. And so decisions take so much, months and months, whereas. As a smaller company, we were able to get things across the finish line much quicker, and so it didn't truly reveal itself in the beginning. As I saw it more towards the end, my wish is I wish I would have gone back and had a "what's going on" conversation to say, and talk about the difference between.
Disservice of Withholding Information
What you say and do and what I was seeing and observing. So, honest conversations, because if I had known where we stood and what needed to happen, then I could have made better choices myself and not gone in like every Monday as I jump on this. I'm going to go take the hill this week, only to come. I would have gone with a lot more reality of what needed to happen. And I would have handled it a little bit differently for sure.
When we're going through change, whether we're working for an organization or even change within ourselves, change in our family dynamic or life, when we don't have all the information, it's really hard and difficult to make the right decisions. I see that as a big mistake in organizations is when they withhold information, thinking that they're doing right by the organization by maybe withholding it. It is actually sometimes doing it a disservice.
I went through an experience where I lost half of my team in one day. They were laid off, and I had no idea it was happening. And this is for another story, another time, but I remember that moment when I, as a leader, was hearing from other people on my team who were getting laid off, and I was instructed not to answer the phone. I didn't find out all the details until later that evening. Reflecting back on that situation, it was a moment when I realized that if that organization had at least provided some guidance, like, "Hey, we're going to be going through layoffs. Don't do field co-travel because that was really awkward." Thankfully, the person I was with didn't get laid off. And also, here are maybe some steps that you can take to support yourself and also support your team as we navigate through these changes. But by not sharing the information as to what was taking place, it's really hard to guide a team, to implement change, to support your team, to make decisions.
And it sounds like that's the situation you found yourself in as well because that organization wasn't being transparent. When you don't have that transparency, it can be hard to know what to do, and you feel stuck. So you keep trying to do the same thing over and over in different ways with the lack of transparency and communication. And I'll tell you, it, back to your trust, right? It impacts your trust. It impacts the results. It impacts so many different things. And I'm such a big believer that if we invest in the relationships, the results will follow, and those relationships, right? And how we work together or ask for what we need or what's going on when things don't seem to be, we feel a little out of alignment on something like I'm running this way, but you're running that way. If we're not willing to have those conversations, it's hard for us to deliver the results that we need.
What is Bravership?
You have gone through a situation where your husband tells you you are miserable to be around. What small, brave move did you make after that?
I realized that at the intersection, for us to be really strong leaders, there's an intersection of bravery and leadership that actually go hand in hand, and that bravery is actually a skill and leadership is an action but without having that skill bravery, it's hard to take action, which is the leadership. So I talk a lot about "bravership," which is bravery plus leadership, creating a competitive advantage for us as leaders. And we have to make small brave moves to get there. The small brave moves are nine different mindsets, behaviors, and habits that we can make in the work that we do. And that helps us be a bit braver in the moves we need to make.
At that moment, my husband took a moment and gave me some straight talk. That's one of the mindsets. And then me being able to take some time to figure out what am I showing up as my most authentic self. What's getting in the way of me delivering what I need to and showing up as the very best person? So, I think that out-of-sync moment allowed me to just do some deep reflection and decide what is it that I want. And what might that move be? And that move ended up opening up a whole new aspect for me, which is, what am I at here? I am 42 years old at this point asking myself, what do I want to be when I grow up? But so many times we go, well, I'll just go get another job like this, or I'll stick it out or two. I'll just go get another similar job somewhere else. But I did the deep inner work to explore what is it that I want to pull out of this next chapter. And what kind of impact do I want to make? And for me, it was I want to inspire bravery in leaders.
That's what I want to do: help leaders, teams, and businesses be a bit braver in the small, brave moves that they need to make.
9 Mindshifts to Navigating the Dynamic Landscape with Resilience and Purpose
Embrace Uncertainty: Change is the only constant. By focusing on what we can control, we pave the way for progress. Embrace the unknown, and watch your ability to adapt soar.
Be Hope-Driven: Cultivate a positive mindset that fuels a hopeful outlook, even in the face of challenges. Your optimism is a catalyst for action, steering you towards a brighter future.
Intentionality in Growth: Take charge of your growth journey. Be intentional in your actions, experiments, and choices. Every step forward is a stride towards meaningful progress.
Speak Up: Your voice is your power. Have those tough conversations, make requests, and address crucial matters. By speaking up, you not only empower yourself but inspire others to find their voice.
Progress over Perfection: Strive for continuous improvement, not unattainable perfection. Understand that growth is a journey, and each step forward, no matter how small, counts.
Bravership: Combine bravery with leadership for a formidable edge. Embrace challenges, guide decisions with courage, and witness the transformational power of bravership.
Authentic Reflection: Regularly assess your authenticity. Are you showing up genuinely in all aspects of life? Identifying barriers allows you to unleash your full potential.
Legacy and Impact: Envision the impact you want to make. Align your actions and goals with this vision, leaving a lasting legacy in both personal and professional realms.
Teach and Learn: Leaders, invest in relationships. Prioritize open communication to guide, support, and learn from your team. Build trust, and watch positive results flourish.
Life Starts at 40
I love how you said at 42 that you made this decision because I left corporate when I was 38. I just turned 40, and I believe that this is a completely new chapter that I'm starting, I'm excited for this new chapter that I'm starting. It doesn't feel like midlife; it feels like a whole new life, but coming in with a lot of experience and knowledge that's different than when I was starting my career in my twenties.
Oh, I couldn't agree more. It is, permitting ourselves, right, to experiment and to look at it as an exciting new chapter, regardless of what that age is. For me, I have about five more years. I want to be doing some cool, intensive stuff. And then who knows after that? So, for me, I'm looking at this as, okay, what do I want the finale to look like? What kind of legacy do I want to leave for leaders around me? And what work needs to be done?
Three Small, Brave Moves out of Nine
Hope-Driven Mindset
Embrace Uncertainty
Intentional Growth
Hope-Driven Mindset
A hope-driven mindset is a positive expectation for a better future, and then it's the motivation to actually go accomplish that. So when you look at things, not looking at them negatively, but going, okay, what's the opportunity here? How can I look at this? And infusing hope-driven into everything we do. When we even approach negative situations with even just a small amount of positivity, it changes everything. So hope-driven mindset is one that is really, really important. We have to be intentional about setting that mindset every single day because the only thing we can control is how we show up.
Embrace Uncertainty
The next one is embracing uncertainty, and the only constant in our lives is change, right? That's going to accompany us, no matter what. And we're either coming in life, we're coming out of a problem, we're heading into a problem, or we're in the middle of a problem. So figuring out what we can control right now to advance, to move forward, to deal with it. I talk a lot about those things because we forget about that. And then it feels like we have a little bit of a sense of control. It helps us move through that differently when we embrace uncertainty.
Intentional Growth
The final one is being intentional. And how do we own our groove? How do we permit ourselves to experiment? And what are the things we want to be intentional about? Because when we are, that's when things start manifesting and moving into something so much bigger. Those are the three that, if you were just to focus on three, hope-driven, embracing uncertainty, and being intentional, will help you advance the small, brave moves you're looking to make.
When you say intention, it's almost as though the intention is woven through all three of those as well. Because there is an intention. I think back to when generations talk about the next generation, it always seems like each generation is looking at the next generation and sees the negative about it. "Oh, this generation is upcoming. They're so lazy. They're so this, they're so that." Instead of seeing the hope in the next generation and looking at each situation and each change that we experience in life and seeing the hope in what the possibilities are. What can we learn from this? How can we grow from this experience? What doors might open up with this new change and being intentional, as you said, about the hope and then also being intentional about embracing the change and focusing on what we can control and not getting caught up on what we can't control?
And that's when I think back to the last role that we were talking about just a little. If I had embraced and recognized uncertainty, I probably have been a little too hope-driven, not enough of uncertainty and intentionality, and so for me. Even, you know, I'm speaking on it. I've written about it, but it's something I have to actively cultivate and work every single day to make sure that I'm making progress over perfection. Am I getting better today than I was yesterday? Right? And so we all are working on it and we're not alone in that journey. All leaders are working on all of these and trying to show up as their very best selves. There is a misconception out there when people look at individuals who have written books or thought is expert thought leaders. I just had this conversation earlier this morning and I was talking about some recent doubt that I had experienced or some kind of anxiousness with something that's coming up.
And I remember the person looking at me, going, "I thought you were always so confident." I said, "Yes, I am confident, but it's been an evolution. I still experience self-doubt and anxiousness sometimes, but I also have the coping skills, techniques, and tools to get myself out of that self-doubt and into confidence. It's not perfection; it's progress every day.
Being brave is working through the fear; we can run away from the fear, let it paralyze us, or we can be brave, recognize it, pick up on those cues and clues, and work through it when it does happen. And that's the differentiator for you, right? Danielle, is you figured out what do I need to do? And so many leaders still have not figured that out."
Yeah, well, hopefully after this episode, they see that they've been empowered with three different mindset shifts that they can take: being intentional about seeing the hope, focusing on what they can control by embracing the change, and then having that intentional mindset weaved all the way through.
Five Tough Talks and Small Brave Moves Books are Out!
You can head out to NicoleMBianchi.com or head out to Amazon, and Five Tough Talks was just released a few weeks ago, or Small Brave Moves is out there as well. They're both under the umbrella of bravery and leadership and being a bit braver in the moves, whether it's a tough conversation that we need to have or the mindsets, behaviors, and habits to be a bit braver in the work that we're doing as well.
"We teach others how to treat us."
So I want you to think about that. Being braver and having tough conversations and shining a light on something that needs to be heard or said teaches people how to treat you. So don't be afraid to speak up, make an ask, have a "what's going on" conversation, and make a small, brave move, because your bravery will inspire others to be brave in the work they're doing.
