How to Show-up and Dress for Success with Celebrity Stylist Lauren Rothman
Today, I am blessed to be joined by Lauren Rothman.
Lauren A. Rothman is a celebrity stylist and fashion expert. She is the author of Style Bible: What to Wear to Work , the definitive guide for the modern professional on dressing to impress. A highly sought after speaker and consultant, her tips on executive presence, wardrobe management and creating a versatile, fashion-forward closet have been featured in Vogue, Glamour, Real Simple, The Hollywood Reporter, The Washington Post, and The New York Times. Lauren is based in Washington, DC where she helps many of the nation’s power players stay on trend.
“Consider how you want to be talked about when you leave the room” –Lauren Rothman
Highlights
💫 1:11 Meet Lauren Rothman
💫 4:38 What is the Lipstick Effect?
💫 16:56 Dressing for the role you want
💫19:30 How to represent your brand through your style
💫21:16 How to keep up with what's trendy
💫 28:50 3 Takeaways from today's conversation
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Success Is A Mindset
I think success is a mindset, as much as it is financial or measuring yourself by how busy you are. I think success is a combination of being prepared to meet the opportunities when they come, and in order to be prepared, one has to think ahead sometimes, so how do you stock your space? Whether that's your wardrobe, your drawers, or your closet. How do you stock your space with your armor? Because there's something to be said about what we wear helps us become who were meant to be, and over this last year, where our personal brands for so many of us have taken such a hit. It's been really easy for that inner critic to seep out when you're in leggings, pajamas, and slippers. You know, what I'm finding from my clients is what that re-entry looks like right now? How are you going to step into your power right now? What are you going to use? And for me, it's helping my clients in coaching them on tools, style tools, and image tools that you can really deep dive and use to help you step into your power whether that's a great lipstick, a pair web of wedges, or good skin care. But we have to combat that inner critic who many people right now are suffering from body dysmorphia, and they have to get dressed again, whether they've toned up and lost weight or they've gained the COVID-19. Like, either way, our inner critic is she's sleeping in a little bit. We've got to be really careful and we've got to come sort of, you know, blazing guns to get that inner critic out and to say, wait a minute. I've got armor to combat this.
How To Look Good On Zoom
It was harder to be seen or to know what it meant to show up. I often think of accessories as great icebreakers. You walk into a meeting and someone says, I love your shoes, great handbag. I love that pocket square, a great tie. Well, now all of a sudden, nobody can say that because as everything moved to video, how are you seeing what are you doing? A lot of people got away without doing hair and makeup and instead just put on their armor, but that armor doesn't get red on video. What gets red on video is your background and your headshot primarily, which is about the delete, and it may be the rise of the hot pink because that looks like the lipstick color we both have on.
I like a nice pop into spring, but it's about how are you doing with your hair. Do you know how to combat dry skin? It's become about a more minimalist look, and being seen has been a lot about smiling with our eyes for the last, and so hence the mascara effect.
Wear Comfortable (Stunning) Clothes On Zoom
I still remember the first time I shaved my legs after it. I remember that act of self-care, helping me feel more like myself. You're taking back control right after delivering a baby after caretaking a baby. That so much has been for someone else. How do you take back some of that power? I think I have felt, especially in the beginning, that a lot of the pandemics really reminded me of maternity leave and a lot of those same emotions. I mean, I also suffered from postpartum depression, and then it was pinned on pandemic depression, right? It was this idea years later, but it echoed that feeling of helplessness and caretaking of others in your home, over yourself, and then you lose yourself a little bit. So, what steps can you take?
For me it was also during the pandemic getting dressed, doing my hair, putting on lipstick, taking a bath, and shaving my legs. Those things help me step into my power, and a lot of my clients, don't know how to do their own hair. They don't even know how to do their own makeup because they've been having that done for them. Pre-pandemic, and so we did so many lessons on just what's even the minimalist effect that you can create if you learn how to use these tools in your life. So I do a lot of education and coaching on how to organize your space so that it makes sense for your lifestyle. So that might be capsule dressing, meaning that when you walk into your closet, you don't want to be overwhelmed by all the things you can't wear, that perhaps aren't relevant to your lifestyle right now.
So for a lot of my clients, we were removing all of the work clothes that no longer matched the narrative of a 2019, 2020, or 2021 World. How have things changed? Maybe the suit no longer makes sense. It's a little too overbearing and aggressive on video, so how do we soften that a little bit for your messaging? So it created a lot of capsule wardrobes for my clients that would essentially say, here are your zoom tops. Here's what you do, when you go on zoom, I want you to make sure you have a pop of color top, I want to make sure we've got some statement Jewellery, I want to make sure you've got some lipstick handy dandy next to you, I want to make sure you've got water and not a giant jug. But let's look good on video. But if you're really trying to lead on video, you really want to minimize those distractions. Hence, the background matters. The pop of color or the style statement tool read is important, not the head-to-toe ensemble. So things have really evolved and changed and folks have had to adapt. I think part of what we're seeing right now is we've just suddenly gotten good at this, and the rules are changing. Re-entry is happening.
Folks are getting back in traffic going out into the world, perhaps putting on lipstick again. There's fatigue that is associated with that. That is sort of how I've seen my business evolve, even in the last three months from how do I manage my zoom capsule to wait a minute, what is reentry look like? What should I be wearing now? When I go back into the world?
Why Should You Create A Wardrobe Capsule
They’re stopping you from seeing what you actually want to be wearing. Because clothing sends signals all the time whether it's the signals of optimism that you and I are showcasing right now at our pops of color, or when you see clothing in your closet that you can't wear. It's why special event clothing should have its own filing system. It's not something you wear every day. So don't let it signal you that you're missing out on something because you haven't received an invitation yet or the world has an open and the same with work clothes. It's important that if it doesn't really work for the current narrative, move it if you don't have the luxury of a guestroom closet, just move it to the back of your closet, and organized capsule dressing can be incredibly powerful because it brings to the surface what to wear for each occasion.
Most people's capsules I have found right now during re-entry are okay some of us are still going to continue silver lining the beauty of the work-at-home video meeting. We are going to do as much as we can to some degree some people are going to keep that in their schedule. So you're gonna want to maintain that zoom capsule wardrobe. So that is one that really makes sense. Then the next one is the practical fashion aspect. I'm going out into the world, but there is going to be some re-entry fatigue. So how do I present an executive presence while maintaining a practical functional fashion of being out all day for eight hours will be exhausting again, from shoes to waistbands, to space? It will be exhausting. After a year of taking a break from it, it doesn't just come naturally to wear four-inch heels. So what is that re-entry wardrobe look like? That's another capsule that I'm helping a lot of clients build, and then the third capsule that's been really popular is what do I wear when I see friends? So whether that's vacation, or that's just I'm having people over again, what do I wear, because I want it to feel different than what I wear on video or what I wear at work? So those are the three top capsules, I'm organizing and creating right now for clients.
The Power Of Style
When you think of a career, where do you want to be? Where do I want to be? How more importantly, what I coach on is the topic of how you want to be perceived. So if you can answer that statement, when I walk into a space virtual or in real life, how do I want to be talked about when I leave the room? That's an exercise I take a lot of my clients through. Think about those words, what is that mindset you want to leave your audience with? Whether it's the HR person who's interviewing you or a coffee with girlfriends? People are going to talk about you when you leave that room. What do you want them to be saying? If you want them to be saying friendly and approachable, there's a wardrobe that matches that. If you want them to be saying elegant and understated, there's a wardrobe that matches that. If you want them to be saying leader, and loud, there's a wardrobe that matches that. So, identifying almost that style statement of how you want to be perceived, will help you step into your power and essentially get dressed.
Understanding Your Body Type Can Help You Dress Well
I think understanding your body type is really important because similar to designing a room, and in our case, designing a background for zoom, it is you have to understand your space, and the depths, the alleys, the mountains of that space, because the more you understand it, the more you can decorate it, and essentially, that's what clothing is. So the more you understand or are at peace to some degree with your body type, then you can start dressing for it so that it doesn't feel like work so much, it feels a little bit more like an equation. Not that math doesn't work. But when you understand I'm a curvy body type, maybe I'm an apple body type, maybe I hold my weight in my midsection a little bit more, maybe I hold it on my lower half and a more of a pair. Maybe I'm so curvy, that I start wearing all these really tight things or loose things just to hide the curves. So understanding your body type can really provide a lot of clarity around how to get dressed.
Once you understand how to get dressed, you always want to invest the most, and when I say the most that is both time and money in the hardest parts of your body. So if your hips are your hardest part, invest more time, figuring it out money, and buy it for that body type. So if it's your hips, then maybe your collection of genes will be insane. Because your bottom half is the one that changes the most on you, and so what you buy on the top could be less expensive, you may own less of it, because it doesn't change that often. Maybe you're busted, or maybe your bus changes every time you gain or lose a little bit of weight, then you'd be investing more time and money on dressing the top part of you. So that's the most important tip I can offer. When it really comes to how to stay on trend. You can't do it without having clarity on body type. The reality of how your body interacts with the world, whether that's hormonal changes that happen every month, or always having two sizes in your closet. I have clients who, every time we buy something, we buy it in two sizes because depending on the part of that body type we're trying to fit, they want to make sure they have options.
The idea of that crop shorter box at your top that works with high-rise pants may be something that's totally a fad and a trend. But it works because you have clarity on your body type. You know that if you gain or lose 10 pounds, it doesn't really affect if that crop top trend will work for you. But it does affect if that wedgie fits the mom gene, which by the way, is an awful trend, in my opinion, but terribly very popular. But you've got to know so it's that clarity on the body type that allows you to make the purchase decision on the trend.
I think what often happens is after we faced trauma to some degree, and childbirth, the way that your body goes through twins, sometimes we have to face the edge in order to make some of those powerful style decisions that sort of allow you to fly off the cliff a little and say, I'm going for it because I can and that is not unusual. We need that badge of honor in order to move forward with that purchase decision. When it comes to understanding if we're too old for a trend, I want to take age out of the equation. Is that trend appropriate for your body type? Does it work for your body type? If that body type is at age 65, or 25, it may not work at either age, or it may work at both ages. So it's really about a body type more than it is about anything else. Because even let's say if you are 65, and you're aging but you could still be incredibly fit. You may not be comfortable showing off a midriff or a midsection with a cropped-up. But that doesn't mean that a cropped top, which is different than a crop top. So just a shorter top could always be layered over a jumper, it could Oh, you don't actually have to show skin. So that's a perfect example of how a trend is really not about age, it's about body type, and if your body type can handle it.
Explore Your Style DNA
I want you to really explore your personal brand, and everyone should really understand this is an ageless exercise when you walk into a room, or rather when you walk out of a room. How do you want that narrative to go? So everyone should walk themselves through that exercise? What is the story of my personal brand in three words? Do you want to walk out of that room and have people say she was so influential? She was so friendly. She was so stylish. I mean, gosh, if I could walk out of a room and somebody said those three things, I would say fan “FREAKING” tactic exactly what I was going for.
Think about your personal brand and write it down. I call that your style DNA, and when I work with clients, I help create that style DNA, that mission statement that's going to help you find the courage to explore the confidence to be the best version of yourself. So, explore your style DNA, and create that personal brand statement of how you want your story and your narrative to be when you walk out of a room.
Get Clarity On Your Budget
Many of us are operating under a false narrative on what we can spend, I would never spend more than $75 on this. But I would spend over $200 on that. Those are often fixed narratives from our childhood, rather than really relevant and true to our current life. So if your full budget is $500, let's operate on the full budget, not on the per item budget, many of us will just give ourselves permission to think about a full budget, we can only kind of manage. Well, tops are usually pretty easy for me. So I would never spend more than X on a top. But bottoms are really hard for me. So I'll always spend to the stars on the bottom. So gain some clarity on budget, and that will give you permission to go out and really dress for your body type, according to your style DNA.
Three Things You Need to Speak Up for Yourself
Wear an outfit that conveys the image you want to project to the world
Know your body type
Get some clarity for your wardrobe budget
Danielle Cobo
Hey, beautiful. Welcome to Dream Job with Danielle Cobo podcast. I am Danielle Cobo, an elite career coach, and I believe every woman has the power to step into their dream jobs, earn the salary they are worth, and live the life they desire. Each week you join me, you're going to hear from the inspiring women who have overcome adversity and levels up their career. You're going to learn how to eliminate that inner credit that is holding you back from pursuing your dreams, how to build confidence, create healthy boundaries to transition, burn out to reenergize, and gain clarity on how to accelerate your career. It's never too late to pursue your dream job. The time is now. Are you ready? Hey, everyone. It's Danielle Cobo. Welcome to Dream Job with Danielle Cobo podcast, and today we have a fantastic guest. We have Lauren Rothman, and Lauren is a celebrity stylist. She's an international stylist and she's been featured in magazines such as New York Times, People, Glamour and L. She's a published author of her book Style Bible, what to Wear to Work. Thank you so much, Lauren, for joining us today.
Lauren Rothman
Hi, Danielle. Great to be here. Thanks for having me on your podcast.
Danielle Cobo
Absolutely. So I had the pleasure of meeting you on Club House. I got to really hear how we can brand ourselves and how we can dress for success at work, and I wanted to ask you a question. You know, my audience when I'm talking with some of my clients to talk about, like limiting beliefs, and it's a state of mind as to our inner critic and the negative thoughts that we have. I know this really talks about dressing as well and what we wear and things like that. So tell us, what do you often hear from your clients?
Lauren Rothman
I think success is a mindset, as much as it is financial or measuring yourself by how busy you are. I think success is a combination of being prepared to meet the opportunities when they come, and in order to be prepared, one has to think ahead sometimes, and so how do you stock your space? Whether that's your wardrobe, your drawers, your closet. How do you stock your space with your armor? Because there's something to be said about what we wear helps us become who were meant to be, and over this last year, where our personal brands for so many of us have taken such a hit. It's been really easy for that inner critic to seep out when you're in leggings, pajamas and slippers. You know, what I'm finding from my clients is what that re-entry look like right now? How are you going to step into your power right now? What are you going to use? And for me, it's helping my clients in coaching them on tools, style tools, image tools that you can really deep dive and use to help you step into your power whether that's a great lipstick, a pair web of wedges, good skin care. But we have to combat that inner critic who many people right now are suffering from body dysmorphia, and they have to get dressed again, whether they've toned up and lost weight or they've gained the COVID-19. Like, either way, our inner critic is she's sleeping in a little bit. We've got to be really careful and we've got to come sort of, you know, blazing guns to get that inner critic out and to say, wait a minute. I've got armor to combat this.
Danielle Cobo
Absolutely, and you said something that was really interesting about that one thing that helps us just feel powerful and just add a little something special to what we wear.
Lauren Rothman
Right.
Danielle Cobo
I remember in the Great Depression, Revlon saw a significant increase and red lipstick. So it's called the lipstick effect, and what they thought what they found was is, you know, women during the Great Depression, we may not be able to get our nails done. Our hair done as frequently. But adding Red Lipstick help those women feel powerful, and it was called the red lipstick effect, and now in the pandemic, it's the mascara effect, because now we're on Zoom and we're wearing masks and mascara cells have tripled since a pandemic.
Lauren Rothman
Yeah, because we want to be seen. That's part of what's been happening is during an over year-long period, we all became part of the wallpaper a little bit. It was harder to be seen or to know what it meant to show up. I often think of accessories as great ice breakers. You walk into a meeting and someone says, I love your shoes, great handbag. I love that pocket square, a great tie. Well, now all of a sudden, nobody can say that because as everything moved to video, how are you seeing what are you doing? A lot of people got away without doing hair and makeup and instead just put on their armor, but that armor doesn't get red on video. What gets red on video is your background and your headshot primarily, which is to about the delete, and it may be the rise of the hot pink because that looks like the lipstick color we both have on.
Danielle Cobo
Oh, yeah.
Lauren Rothman
I like a nice pop into spring, but it's about how are you doing with your hair? Do you know how to combat dry skin? It's become about a more minimalist look, and being seen has been a lot about smiling with our eyes for the last, and so hence the mascara effect.
Danielle Cobo
Absolutely, I remember at the beginning of the pandemic, I was like, this is amazing. I get to work from home. I wake up and I'm putting on my Lulu Lemon, and I even bought really stocked up on Lulu Lemon because it was comfortable, and what I found over time is just deep down inside, I didn't feel that just joy and excitement in power that I used to feel when I was out and about meeting with clients and supporting my team, and when I started to get on Zoom. I started to meet with my clients over Zoom, and I started to do these podcasts over Zoom. I started to get dressed up, and it's such a little thing to just get dressed up, but it really sets the tone for my day. I immediately feel just amazing because I got dressed up and I got my hair done and I feel good. I feel pretty, and it's the same concept. I suffered from severe postpartum depression after delivering my twins. I remember each day I did something a little different. So the first day was I took a shower because let's be real. I didn't really take a shower at the beginning, getting up all the time, and then the next were cute top, and then the next day I got out of maternity clothes and just those baby steps, and it's amazing how just getting dressed up and it sets your tone for the entire day.
Lauren Rothman
That's stepping into your power. That's what stepping into your power is. I still remember the first time I shaved my legs after it. I remember that act of self-care, helping me feel more like myself. You're taking back control right after delivering a baby after caretaking of a baby. That so much has been for someone else. How do you take back some of that power? I think I have felt, especially in the beginning, a lot of the pandemics really reminded me of maternity leave and a lot of those same emotions. I mean, I also suffered from postpartum depression, and then it was pinned pandemic depression, right. It was this idea years later, but it echoed that feeling of helplessness and caretaking of others in your home, over yourself, and then you lose yourself a little bit. So, what steps can you take? For me it was also during the pandemic getting dressed, doing my hair, putting on lipstick, taking a bath, shaving my legs. Those things help me step into my power, and a lot of my clients, they don't know how to do their own hair. They don't even know how to do their own makeup because they've been having that done for them. Pre-pandemic, and so we did So many lessons on just what's even the minimalist effect that you can create if you learn how to use these tools in your life. So I do a lot of education and coaching around how to organize your space, so that it makes sense for your lifestyle. So that might be capsule dressing, meaning that when you walk into your closet, you don't want to be overwhelmed by all the things you can't wear, that perhaps aren't relevant to your lifestyle right now. So for a lot of my clients, we were removing all of that work clothes that no longer matched the narrative of a 2019, 2020, 2021 World. How have things changed? Maybe the suit no longer makes sense. It's a little too overbearing and aggressive on video, and so how do we soften that a little bit for your messaging. So it created a lot of capsule wardrobes for my clients that would essentially say, here are your zoom tops. Here's what you do, when you go on zoom, I want you to make sure you have a pop of color top, I want to make sure we've got some statement Jewellery, I want to make sure you've got some lipstick handy dandy next to you, I want to make sure you've got water and not a giant jug. But let's look good on video. Using a straw makes a huge difference to using a cup. Because when you use a straw, there's less movement of your body, which means less distraction, and when you've been on video, all day, you get thirsty, you need to hydrate. But if you're really trying to lead on video, you really want to minimize those distractions. Hence, the background matters. The pop of color or the style statement tool read is important, not the head to toe ensemble. So things have really evolved and changed and folks have had to adapt. I think part of what we're seeing right now is we've just suddenly gotten good at this, and the rules are changing. Re-entry is happening. Folks are getting back in traffic going out into the world, perhaps putting on lipstick again. There's a fatigue that is associated with that. That is sort of how I've seen my business evolve, even in the last three months from how do I manage my zoom capsule to wait a minute, what is reentry look like? What should I be wearing now? When I go back into the world?
Danielle Cobo
You know, that's so powerful because I always did, you know, season changes. So, once transitioning from fall to winter, I would switch out my closets and things like that. But you're right, you're taking it to a whole nother level where what we wear today on zoom is different. So we still get to be comfortable. I get to wear jeans be comfortable. I enhance and invested in really cute tops and really beautiful Kendra Scott earrings, and it’s fun. It’s comfortable and fun. I removed those stiff suits that I used to wear and put them in a whole nother closet. I mean, yes. I may wear them one day, but they're in another closet. Because right now they're just taking up space.
Lauren Rothman
Right, they're stopping you from seeing what you actually want to be wearing. Because clothing sends signals all the time whether it's the signals of optimism that you and I are showcasing right now at our pops of color, or when you see clothing in your closet that you can't wear. It's why special event clothing should have its own filing system. It's not something you wear every day. So don't let it signal you that you're missing out on something because you haven't received an invitation yet or the world has an open and the same with work clothes. It's important that if it doesn't really work for the current narrative, move it if you don't have the luxury of a guestroom closet, just move it to the back of your closet, and organized capsule dressing can be incredibly powerful because it brings to the surface what to wear for each occasion. Most people's capsules I have found right now during re-entry is okay some of us are still going to continue silver lining the beauty of the work at home video meeting. We are going to as much as we can to some degree some people are going to keep that in their schedule. So you're gonna want to maintain that zoom capsule wardrobe. So that is one that really makes sense. Then the next one, the practical fashion aspect. I'm going out into the world, but there is going to be some re-entry fatigue. So how do I present an executive presence while maintaining a practical functional fashion of being out all day for eight hours will be exhausting again, from shoes, to waistbands, to space. It will be exhausting. After a year of taking a break from it, it doesn't just come naturally to wear four inch heels. So what is that re-entry wardrobe look like? That's another capsule that I'm helping a lot of clients build, and then the third capsule that's been really popular is what do I wear when I see friends? So whether that's vacation, or that's just I'm having people over again, what do I wear, because I want it to feel different than what I wear on video or what I wear at work. So those are the three top capsules, I'm organizing and creating right now for clients.
Danielle Cobo
Yeah, and a lot of what, I work with my clients as well. You're talking about meetings on zoom, and wearing colorful clothes and a pop of color of lipstick and statement earrings and necklaces, and when I'm working with my clients, they're doing interviews online now, and that's your body language doesn't always interactive, yeah, translate, as it did before, and you've got. These people are getting a preview as to your home life because you've got these backgrounds, and so a lot of what I work with my clients is how do you dress for success when you're doing a zoom interview? How do you present yourself, well, at work through zoom? If you want to take a step up and level up in your career, you want to get promoted to that next level, then you need to dress the part of that next level, especially if we're getting into a leadership position, if everyone in your leadership in your company is always wearing a blazer and you want to step into that job, then I would encourage you to wear a blazer too. So you're already assuming the part, and these little things that we do make a difference, as you said your power.
Lauren Rothman
I call that aspirational dressing. About where you want to be, and then dress for it. So there's a part of that that can be really healthy. There's also part of that that can be really unhealthy. If you think about it like, well, aspirationally I wish I weighed 10 pounds less. So I'm going to start to dress for that. That's not going to serve you. Aspirational dressing, when you think of a career, where do I want to be? Where do I want to be? How more importantly, what I coach on is that topic of how do you want to be perceived? So if you can answer that statement, when I walk into a space virtual or in real life, how do I want to be talked about when I leave the room? That's an exercise I take a lot of my clients through. Think about those words, what is that mindset you want to leave your audience with? Whether it's the HR person who's interviewing you, or a coffee with girlfriends? People are going to talk about you when you leave that room. What do you want them to be saying? If you want them to be saying friendly and approachable, there's a wardrobe that matches that. If you want them to be saying elegant and understated, there's a wardrobe that matches that. If you want them to be saying leader, and loud, there's a wardrobe that matches that. So, identifying almost that style statement of how you want to be perceived, it will help you step into your power and essentially get dressed.
Danielle Cobo
Yeah, that is so true. You mean you think of like celebrities. I look at somebody like Jennifer Aniston and she's just got this relax, but put together look, and that could be different than Angelina Jolie and comparing the two different styles, both incredible women. Both women are highly respected but they have two totally different styles, and that represents their personality.
Lauren Rothman
Yeah, and you have the ability to control that narrative. I think a lot of people don't realise that that's not always a natural speech pattern for folks. Style is curated and it's created and then it's exercised until it starts to look natural, and in fact, the more effortless that style appears, the more prep was involved. I always tell clients like fashion is very different than style. Fashion is the act of shopping, what's on trend? How do I buy that own that where that what's in what's out, style is timeless style is how you carry yourself. It's your posturing, it's your hand movements. It's how many times your eyes blink in a minute, it's how you smile. That's what style is, and so if you show up on a zoom call, in a black V neck, and great hair and makeup, you can wow your audience, you don't always have to pack a punch with fashion. Because style is how you carry yourself, and it's the way that you present that appears a little bit more effortless.
Danielle Cobo
So how can women stay on trend? Because, I know trends are really evolving, and they're evolving quickly, it's sometimes it's hard to keep up with them. So how can we stay on trend and still have some classic pieces in our wardrobe? That are timeless? Because I believe that's like a mix.
Lauren Rothman
Yes, absolutely. I think understanding your body type is really important because similar to designing a room, and in our case, designing a background for zoom, it is you have to understand your space, and the depths, the alleys, the mountains of that space, because the more you understand it, the more you can decorate it, and essentially, that's what clothing is. So the more you understand or are at peace to some degree with your body type, then you can start dressing for it, so that it doesn't feel like work so much, it feels a little bit more like an equation. Not that math isn't work. But when you understand I'm a curvy body type, maybe I'm an apple body type, maybe I hold my weight my midsection a little bit more, maybe I hold it on my lower half and a more of a pair. Maybe I'm so curvy, I start wearing all these really tight things or loose things just to hide the curves. So understanding your body type can really provide a lot of clarity around how to get dressed. Once you understand how to get dressed, you always want to invest the most, and when I say the most that's both time and money in the hardest parts of your body. So if your hips are your hardest part, invest more time, figuring it out money and buying it for that body type. So if it's your hips, then maybe your collection of genes will be insane. Because your bottom half is the one that changes the most on you, and so what you buy on the top could be less expensive, you may own less of it, because it doesn't change that often. Maybe you're busted, or maybe your bus changes every time you gain or lose a little bit of weight, then you'd be investing more time and money on dressing the top part of you. So that's the most important tip I can offer. When it really comes to how to stay on trend. You can't do it without having clarity on body type. The reality of how your body interacts with the world, whether that's hormonal changes that happen every month, and always having two sizes in your closet. I have clients who, every time we buy something, we buy it in two sizes, because depending on the part of that body type we're trying to fit, they want to make sure they have options.
Danielle Cobo
Absolutely. So I am one of those people my weight fluctuates by 10 pounds all the time. So I literally probably have three sets of jeans or pants depending on where I'm at. If I'm really investing time in my health and I'm eating healthy and working out then I have my I look fabulous jeans, and then I have my Okay, it's around the holidays and I'm enjoying you know, extra food and things like that. So you know, a little bit rounder jeans and it's okay, I know that about myself. So I know that my tops, I can always get one size. So I have that, and then I just know that I have three different sets of pants.
Lauren Rothman
That clarity helps you move forward with the decision making process as opposed to feeling badly about it, like, oh, I have to buy these pants, because this is the reality of my size. Instead you can strategically address that decision, and so when a trend comes around. So let's say that trend is tied I or me on, or mom jeans, you can say, does that trend really serve me? So for example, should I be buying tie dye pants? Should I be buying mom jeans, if my bottom half is what changes all the time? Probably not. But if a cropped top might be a trend where you could say, well, my top rarely changes. If I'm in shape, I could wear that, and I don't mean a midriff top right, although I'm sure we could both balance that.
Danielle Cobo
Yeah.
Lauren Rothman
But the idea of that crop shorter box at your top that works with a high rise pant that may be something that's totally a fad and a trend. But it works because you have clarity on your body type. You know that if you gain or lose 10 pounds, it doesn't really affect if that crop top trend will work for you. But it does affect if that wedgie fit mom gene, which by the way, is an awful trend, in my opinion, but terribly very popular. But you've got to know so it's that clarity on body type that allows you to make the purchase decision on the trend.
Danielle Cobo
So we talked a little bit about crop tops, and before we wrap this up. I know crop tops, you know there's this mindset of well, am I too old to wear that, and it's interesting, because before having kids, and it was ridiculous. I don't know why it was like this. But before having kids, I was I was insecure of my stomach. I had this idea that you shouldn't wear a crop top unless you had a six pack, and let's be real. That's not that's not reality for most of us. It’s funny, because after delivering my twins, even though my stomach definitely does not look the same. I wear a crop top and I'm like, yeah.
Lauren Rothman
Now you’ve earned the badge of honour.
Danielle Cobo
Absolutely.
Lauren Rothman
I think what often happens is after we faced trauma to some degree, and childbirth, the way that your body goes through twins, sometimes we have to face the edge in order to make some of those powerful style decisions that sort of allow you to fly off the cliff a little and say, I'm going for it because I can and that is not unusual. We need that badge of honour in order to move forward with that purchase decision. When it comes to understanding if we're too old for a trend, I want to take age out of the equation. Is that trend appropriate for your body type? Does it work for your body type? If that body type at age 65, or 25, it may not work at either age, or it may work at both ages. So it's really about a body type more than it is about anything else. Because even let's say if you are 65, and you're ageing but you could still be incredibly fit. You may not be comfortable showing off a midriff or a midsection with a cropped up. But that doesn't mean that a cropped top, which is different than a crop top. So just a shorter top could always be layered over a jumper, it could Oh, you don't actually have to show skin. So that's a perfect example of how a trend is really not about age, it's about body type, and if your body type can handle it.
Danielle Cobo
Oh, that's a great point. So what are the three things that you want our listeners to really take away from our conversation today?
Lauren Rothman
I want you to really explore your personal brand, and everyone should really understand this is an ageless exercise when you walk into a room, or rather when you walk out of a room. How do you want that narrative to go? So everyone should walk themselves through that exercise? What is the story of my personal brand in three words? Do you want to walk out of that room and have people say she was so influential? She was so friendly. She was so stylish. I mean, gosh, if I could walk out of a room and somebody said those three things, I would say fan “FREAKING” tactic exactly what I was going for.
Danielle Cobo
Yeah,
Lauren Rothman
Think about your personal brand and write it down. I call that your style DNA, and when I work with clients, I help create that style DNA, that mission statement that's going to help you find the courage to explore the confidence to be the best version of yourself. So, explore your style DNA, create that personal brand statement of how you want your story and your narrative to be when you walk out of a room. That is my number one tip. My second tip is do the math. What is your body type? Are you an inverted triangle? Are you a little bit more buff on the top and a little more narrow in the waist? Are you a pair? Do you carry more of your weight in the booty bottom, the thighs? Are you a curvy? Are you a straight or your rectangle? The more you can understand and do some exploring on your body type fashion becomes a little bit less intimidating. So what is your style DNA? What is your body type? My third tip is get clarity on your budget. Many of us are operating under a false narrative on what we can spend on, I would never spend more than $75 on this. But I would spend over $200 on that. Those are often fixed narratives from our childhood, rather than really relevant and true of your current life. So if your full budget is $500, let's operate on the full budget, not on the per item budget, many of us will just we won't give ourselves permission to think about a full budget, we can only kind of manage. Well, tops are usually pretty easy for me. So I would never spend more than X on a top. But bottoms are really hard for me. So I'll always spend to the stars on bottom. So be gain some clarity on budget, and that will give you permission to go out and really dress for your body type, according to your style DNA.
Danielle Cobo
Those are some great tips. Thank you so much for sharing that because a lot of it really resonates as to how we can dress for success and dress for our body type. So tell us Lauren, where can my audience find you?
Lauren Rothman
You can find me at styleatour.com, and that's my website. It is also my handle on all social channels, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, at style a tour. I have a column in ink magazine called what to wear. Its occasion driven advice on how to get dressed, and my book style Bible what to wear to work is on Amazon.
Danielle Cobo
Ah, and clubhouse for those who love house. I learned this. So this is how I found Lauren, I'm so honored that I got the opportunity to listen to her on clubhouse. She talked about like building your personal brand, and thank you so much because that's a great opportunity where people can continue to listen to you.
Lauren Rothman
I'm in the business branding secrets club Monday to Thursday at 9am, and we run brand therapy rooms, so their power hours each day on different aspects of brand therapy, whether that's your personal brand, or your professional one, or the marriage.
Danielle Cobo
Yes. Well, thank you so much, and for those of you listening, I really appreciate it. Again, this is the dream job with Danielle Cobo and in this podcast, you're going to learn everything from inspiring women who have overcome adversity and levels up their career and lived the life they desire, and whether that's dressing for success, or investing time into our nutrition and our health, or its career advice on how to take your career to the next level. This is what we're about. We really are here to inspire and empower women to live the best life. So thank you so much. Thank you, Lauren for being our guest.
Lauren Rothman
Thank you so much for having me. This was a delight. I can't wait to do it again.
Danielle Cobo
Absolutely, thank you.
