How to Earn Trust and Respect with Kathleen Booth
It can be hard to know where to start when it comes to advancing your career. You may feel like you're stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out. You may feel like you're not good enough or that you don't have what it takes. In this episode, we talk about the importance of trust and respect in your career and how to go about earning them. We share tips on how to project confidence through preparation, and how having a growth mindset can help accelerate your career.
In This Episode You Will Learn About:
· Conversations that earn trust
· Taking on the tough conversations
· Developing a growth mindset to accelerate your career
· Putting your best foot forward by preparing
"Whether you're selling software, professional services, or cars - what we're really selling, and marketing, is trust. If you can build trust with your customers, you will earn their respect and their business. It's that simple."– Kathleen Booth
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About the Guest
Kathleen is SVP of Marketing at Tradeswell, where she's on a mission to empower a new generation of digital-first marketplace brands. Prior to joining Tradeswell, she led marketing at several VC-backed B2B SaaS businesses in the ecommerce and cybersecurity spaces, and was the founder and CEO of a digital marketing agency where she advised hundreds of companies on go-to-market and digital marketing strategies. Outside of work, Kathleen is the host of the long running Inbound Success Podcast, which features interviews with top performing marketers, and was named one of the Top 50 B2B Marketing Influencers of 2021 by TopRank.
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Establishing Your Place in a “Man’s World”
You have worked in predominantly male industries. And I would imagine, not only did you work in male industries, you were very young when you were working with government officials and traveling all over the world. Tell us a little bit about that experience, and how were you able to present yourself as a value while working in a male-dominated industry? Yeah,
it was really interesting because growing up, I was very shy. I'm still very introverted, which is more about energy, and more so than shyness, but I grew up very shy as well. And I started living abroad. The year after I graduated from college, I lived in Spain for a year before I went to grad school. And I actually worked at a car manufacturing company there, and then came back worked full time while I was in grad school in Washington, DC, which is also a male-dominated area. But then when I started doing this international work, I was in my early 20s, I was going to the developing world, and in many of these countries, they're just culturally really different. And in some of them, they're not as used to women in the workplace, certainly not young, single women traveling all over the world alone. And in many cases, there just isn't that natural respect that I think we enjoy to a much greater degree here in the US. And so, and a lot of times, I traveled alone, you know, and so I really had to, in order to be effective, I had to figure out a way to gain the respect of the people that I was interacting with.
And I think for me, that happened in a couple of different ways. One was projecting confidence, kind of whether I really felt it or not, and you know, I always equate it, maybe this is a terrible analogy, but I always equate it to animals, like when you come upon a dog, dogs can tell if you're afraid of them, right. And if you're afraid of them, they react to you very differently than if you're confident and you're strong. And I honestly think it's the same thing with people. So I'm not calling people dogs, but it's the same, I think instinctive psychological thing where you can smell insecurity in somebody else. And so I learned very quickly that I had to come in and I had to project confidence in the way I spoke, in the way I presented myself, in the way I carried myself, even if I didn't really feel it inside. And you know, I had done back in, in high school. I have done a lot of acting and so funny enough, I think I called upon that skill to almost pretend to be somebody I wasn't in those circumstances, but it worked and you know, and I think what I learned was that if you walk in, and you act as though you belong there, in most cases, people will treat you as though you belong there. And so I think that's, that's probably the biggest thing I took away. But then, you know, some of it was, and I hate to say this, but like dress the part dress, so almost like dress for the job, you want to have not the job you have. And I always hate saying that, because I think women are so judged for how we dress. And I do believe we should dress in whatever way makes us feel comfortable and is most authentic to ourselves. But for me, it was about dressing professionally, and showing up in you know, in presenting, presenting physically in a way that somebody who was much more senior than me would normally present. And then preparing. You know, I'm like I said, I'm a big introvert, I had to this day still have impostor syndrome. And it's funny, I almost don't know anyone who doesn't. We all deal with it differently. And in my case, it was I would compensate or channel my imposter syndrome into just being incredibly over-prepared. And I just found that that helped quell my anxiety. If I spent a lot of time before meetings or before presentations, making sure I really had it down, then I could walk in and project that confidence.
So that all seem to help and and you know that that made me successful in that early part of my career, and I've carried it through. And now I work in Marketing, which is a much more female industry. But what I think I do now is I have a lot of younger women and men who worked for me who are just getting started, who maybe don't have the confidence. And so what I enjoy doing today is mentoring them and trying to show them that you don't have to be the world's greatest expert in everything. But you do need to project confidence and be prepared and that sort of thing.
Claiming That Seat at the Table
I think about the day advice that often is given where if you run into a bear, in order to combat a bear, I hope I've never run into a bear, but if you ever run into when you act big. And certainly you act bigger than you are and that's exactly what I'm hearing with the advice that you're giving is sometimes you do fake it till you make it sometimes you do Lean into channeling in maybe that superstar person out there. And until you really gain the confidence in yourself and I agree with you that when it comes to dressing the way that you want to feel. And it's always better to show up overdressed than underdressed. So the tips that you were given are great advice when it really comes to standing in your presence, being known that you are meant to be in that room. You're meant to have that seat at the table.
That's exactly right. It's about internalizing this feeling that you deserve to be there. But and I want to clarify like when I say fake it until you make it there's a very important distinction here which is what I'm not saying is pretend you know everything because it's different. Part of projecting incredible confidence is having the confidence to say you know what, I don't know the answer to that question, but I will get it for you. And recognizing that confident people don't feel like they have to lie or make stuff up. It's more attitudinal than it is that it has to do with the substance of what you say to people. It's okay to admit you don't know things. And that is a sign of confidence and strength. Just like fake it till you make it doesn't mean that you can't admit that there are things you still have to learn. And, you know, I just had this conversation with the CEO of my company the other day, and I mean, I'm, I've been in this game a long time. But there are still things I have to learn. And I sat down with him when I first started my job, which was three months ago. And I said, Look, there's a lot of things I'm strong at. But there are a couple of things where I know I still need to sharpen my skills. And I could really use your help and mentorship, like, you need to be able to say those things, too, and ask for help where you need it. But do it in a way where you are doing so confidently.
And one of the things that you had said when it comes to it's okay to not know the answer. And when that happens often when I was in sales, customers appreciated it, it's always better to say I don't know the answer. Can I get back to you tomorrow on it? Can I take the time to research to ensure that I'm coming in with the right answer that's going to support your question, versus just giving a surface level answer to it without really going into depth and knowing it. So I much rather have somebody admit they don't know the answer, and that they're going to take the time to research it, they're going to earn my trust a lot faster than somebody that just gives a surface-level response just because they want to be seen that they know everything.
And if you do give a surface-level response, or if you make something up and it's wrong, you destroy your credibility. And so being honest about those things is incredibly important. Because, look, I mean advancement in your career. At the end of the day, it's all about being somebody who others feel they can trust.
Avoid Jeopardizes That Feeling of Trust
And before you can respect someone, you have to trust them. And so, you know that safeguarding that trust is of utmost importance and the building blocks of trust, honesty, and forthrightness. And so it's really important to not make things up or exaggerate.
And also to take that a step further, is when you do for some reason, if for any reason you do give the wrong answer, I mean, that's happened at times where maybe they forgot the things have changed that some of the rules or the laws or some of the compliance guidelines have changed. And being able to just take accountability for that and saying. You know what, I got that wrong. I misspoke, too. This is also another way of when taking accountability and being honest about it is another way of earning trust, as well.
Totally and, and not exaggerating your performance. This was another interesting conversation I had same CEO lately. And, you know, he was saying to me that, that he's a venture capitalist, and he's been in many board meetings, both as a member of the board and as the person reporting to the board. And he was talking about how you can always tell the difference between a really seasoned executive and one who's not because the less seasoned executives tend to come in and try to present a rosy picture. And the season ones are the ones who come in and say, yeah, those things are all going well, let's talk about the things that aren't going well, that I'm not doing well, and oh, by the way, here's what I'm doing to fix them. It's that he referred to it as a very sober assessment. But you know, I would say it's, it goes once again, back to not being afraid to recognize the areas where you're not over-performing, you know, where you have weaknesses, where you're, you know, where you maybe haven't met objectives or goals and being candid about that, again, because it shows strength, and it shows confidence, to admit to those things. And, and if someone else has to pull them out of you, or get you, you know, convinced you to admit to them, that that is again, it's it jeopardizes that feeling of trust, and therefore erodes respect.
Staying Proactive Equates to Integrity
And what you did by going directly to the CEO who had hired you, and come being very forthcoming and saying, these are my strengths and I know, this is what I'm really good at. And these are some of the areas that I know I have some areas to grow and develop in and in utilizing that as a way to communicate, that you want a mentor and that you're worth investing in and that you have that growth mindset that you know the value of continuing to invest in your success in yourself so that you can continue to develop on strengths.
I'm a big fan of getting ahead of things. And so that I think that's part of it. And then the other conversation I had with him was, it was the first week on the job. I said, Hey, there are going to be at times, when you're upset with me, and there, I'm sure there's going to be something I screw up on at some point. And then there's gonna be other times where we just fundamentally disagree on something. And I was like, That hasn't happened yet. And if you're upset with me, and I've screwed up, I'll own it, and we'll move forward. But if it's something we just don't agree on, how do you want me to handle that conversation? Like, do you want me to disagree? And in a group leadership team meeting, do you want me to pull you aside privately? Like, how should I navigate that conversation with you? It's a little bit like the concept of a prenuptial agreement where you should like, discuss how you're going to handle the tough things before the tough things happen, right? Because you're able to do it with a clear head. And so I'm a big believer in having all those conversations upfront. And coming to a mutual sense of agreement over Look, these are going to be our, our, our rules of operation when this stuff happens.
Sounds like you take a very proactive approach when it comes to your development, you're creating your seat at the table when it comes to having those open conversations. Sometimes those conversations are hard to navigate through. But like you said, when you're really ahead of it, that's when it's it the emotions aren't tied into it to it as much. And that's an often we can get flustered and things along those lines. But getting that agreement right from the start is going to support you in navigating through those conversations. When they do come, they do come up.
It's an interesting point in my career because I was the boss for 11 years, I owned my company for 11 years. And now I'm not. And so I think it's like me, both recognizing what I liked and appreciated as a person who managed other people. But also it's me recognizing that, that I need to be very self-aware that I now work for somebody else and respect their modes of communication and get a sense of what that new landscape is so that I can navigate it properly. Because there are a lot of people who own their own business and then are not successful in working for other people because they can't adjust their communication style, their style of work and decision making. And it's something that scared me a lot when I sold my business I wasn't sure how I would handle that. And so I've worked really, really hard to try to get ahead of it and set myself up for success.
Using Communication to Earn Trust
Don't expect people to read your mind.
Give everyone a chance to successfully communicate with you by being as upfront and honest as you can be about yourself as a communicator and learning about them.
Commit to being very honest with other people.
I'm a big fan of Kim Scott's Radical Candor book. It's about caring deeply and confronting directly. And the whole premise behind the book is you have to be honest, especially about the tough things, because that's the only fair thing to do for the other person. And if you do it in the spirit of building up the relationship rather than tearing it down, you will both have come out better for it. I'm extremely passionate about both myself as well as everyone I work with. Being really upfront and not holding things back, not griping behind the scenes, not being passive-aggressive.
Don't expect yourself to read other people's minds.
If you want to communicate successfully with others, take ownership of asking them upfront how they like to communicate. And there are different ways of doing that. You can do it in a conversation. Or when I had my agency, we had everybody take a DISC assessment when they were hired, and we would actually all share each other's DISCs. And so you would know, I'm a high D. If I go into a meeting with somebody who's a high C, I have to approach it differently than I would with somebody who's a high S. And so you have to find what works for you.
Great communication is about right really being honest, expecting honesty in return, and the way you deliver things with positive outcomes in mind and with the intention of building up a relationship
These are three valuable tips on how to use communication to earn to really understand and earn trust. Because trust is the core of everything. Without trust, it's really hard to have a relationship. And when that's broken and not taking the necessary steps to repair it, that can be very challenging.
Trust isn't just at the heart of good communication. It's actually at the heart of good marketing. The same principles in marketing and marketing communications also apply to interpersonal and career communications because it's human psychology that we want to deal with people we trust.
