How to Handle Gaps in your Resume and Advance your Career with Marla Bautista
In this episode, we talk all about how to handle gaps in your resume, how to support your spouse's career, while still building your own, and being okay with not being able to do it all. Tune into today's episode to learn more!
Marla Bautista is a published author, Tedx Speaker, Military Spouse and CEO of Bautista project. Marla is the author of My Thoughts Abandoned and co-author of Brave Women, Strong Faith. She is also a freelance writer, blogger, and speaker. Her Bylines include Miami Herald, Stars and Stripes, and What to expect. She earned her Bachelors in Communications from the University of Maryland University College. As a keynote speaker, she uses her personal and professional experience to connect with diverse audiences across a spectrum of forums. Her passion is helping people in need. She does so as the co-founder and CEO of the Bautista Project Inc, a nonprofit organization providing for homeless community members in Tampa, Florida.
“You don't need to feel bad about outsourcing your weaknesses" – Marla Bautista
Highlights
💫 3:15 What to do if you have a gap in your resume
💫 7:47 Recruiters want to see that you're advancing your skills
💫 14:25 How to support your spouse's career, while also building your own
💫 19:02 It needs to be a give and take when it comes to you and your partner's careers
💫 21:45 It's okay to outsource the things you don't want to do
💫 30:21 Three takeaways from today's conversation
Connect with Featured Guest, Marla Bautista
✳️ Website: https://www.marlabautista.com/
✳️ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marla.bautista.author/
The Challenges of Being a Military Spouse: Addressing the Gaps in Your Resume
Well, we're both military spouses. And as a military spouse, there's kind of some unique challenges that we go through. And while we're military spouses, there are a lot of things that we can take away from the unique challenges that we have that can be shared with everybody. And one of them is, you know, often we're moving, we're relocating, it's called PCS, that’s what we do – it's Permanent Change of Station. And so oftentimes, we're moving and one of the biggest challenges for military spouses is really to have a thriving career, because as soon as you get traction in one state, then you're moving to another one. And there's also kind of this preconceived notion that some people have where, you know, we're going for an interview, and they're thinking, “Well, how long are you going to be here? How are you going to handle this job when you're deployed?” All of those things? So what do you typically do when there are situations where you're relocating, and you might have a resume gap?
One of the biggest, best things that I could have ever done, honestly in between moves, is to volunteer. Volunteering allows you to keep your skills fresh while using your experience. And so we understand that volunteering isn't a paid position; but guess, what you're still working, add that to your resume, add your volunteer position to your employment resume, as a non-paid position – you absolutely have the right to do that. You've earned that experience. While you may not have been paid, you were still working. So use your skill set, and enhance the skills that you already have. Definitely volunteer.
That's great advice because you're right. And that's another way of giving back to the community and really showing what you're passionate about. Whether it's feeding the homeless, whether it's helping. You know, I speak sometimes for the Dress for Success Organization, which is women who have come out of battered relationships, and they're really just kind of starting their lives over. And so being able to contribute and support our community while also leaning in on our expertise and building more skill sets. Absolutely. And a lot of people assume or think of volunteering, as you know, we're going to go work at a food pantry or we're going to do manual labor. That's not always the case. Use your skills. If you went to school for accounting, offer your skills as an accountant to a nonprofit organization. This is a great way again, to keep your skills abreast but also offer your services and it works for everyone – it helps me, it helps you, and again, you can add to your resume as an unpaid position.
And also one of the things that I often see with military spouses is a lot of military spouses have multiple degrees. We definitely have to kind of take advantage of the fact that there are some resources for us when it comes to using some of the government funding when it comes to getting an education. And they really utilize on hey, if I'm gonna have time in between relocations, if I am gonna have time in between jobs, then it's a matter of continuing to build those skill sets; whether you're doing volunteer work, or whether you're going back to school, and it's continuing that learning that you're going through, receiving a higher education – whether that is a traditional higher education or whether it's a skills trade, vocational school, or some type of intern or externship, or apprenticeship – it’s always great to hone in on the skills you want to capitalize on advancing. And so definitely take those times where you can't fully commit to getting a job and take that time to educate yourself. Take an in-person class, take an online class. I took a certificate program at USF for free, USF was offering the Diversity Equity and Inclusion Course for free. I took that course. And I am now certified for free. And so for me, that was a quick four-week course that I did on my own, and I have a certification for it. And that was literally a month of my life, the time going by whether you go to school or not. So why not use that time wisely and educate yourself?
I did not know about that resource, I'm definitely going to look into it. And that really speaks to if that question comes up where somebody, the hiring manager, is asking you, “Well, there's a gap in your resume. And where you are able to say, “Yes, there is. There were times in my tween, I was in transition with jobs. With that said, this is what I did during this time, I sharpened my skill sets, and I learned new skill sets that are then going to transfer and support me in thriving in this new role that I'm interviewing for.” Absolutely. Explain that, but also make sure that you are completely spelling that out in plain language on your resume. Note those opportunities for advancement in your academic career, not those opportunities for advancement in your professional career. Because what people want to see is that you're doing something to advance your skills, they want to see that you're growing in some ways. And so absolutely using that opportunity, taking the time off, don't ever take that time offered, to explain yourself to say, “Well, hey, I couldn't do anything because we were moving.” You know, that's not their business. What you can say is I took the time to advance my professional development, or I worked on personal development during my time away from work.
And that's something to you know, whether you are looking for a job right now, or whether you are in the current role that you want to be in continuing to invest in yourself is essential for personal career growth. And just being the best version of yourself. I've always, I've always been an advocate of utilizing resources to continue to support you in thriving in your life. And whether it's reading books, doing podcasts, LinkedIn learning courses, there's going back to school and taking courses, or trade schools – there are so many different resources out there that we can use. And sometimes it's just a matter of going out there and asking around.
Taking Advantage of Available Resources and Opportunities
If you are a military spouse and you have access to a military installation, head over to your library. They have specific information about free courses that are paid for through the military community. And so here, my spouse is stationed at MacDill Air Force Base. And so I went into the library, and I learned that there was this huge list of real certification courses that you could take for free, and they literally give you the login. And you go and take those courses. I was like, Wait, so there's no like school sign up. They're like, No, you take these courses. Once you're done, you get your certificate. I'm like, oh my gosh, but I would have never known if I would have never gone to the library. I was only in the library because I did volunteer for a toddler reading group. So I held a toddler reading group at the library. But normally, because we have access to the internet, I really don't go check out tangible books. So I was there for toddler reading group and I just happened to walk by and I'm like, “What's this?”
And they started explaining it to me, and the librarian explained it to me. And I was like, “Are you kidding? I have access, like, this is free?” She was like, “Yes, free.” I was like, “Okay, I'm gonna go, I'm checking it.” Like I was literally doing all these courses. Take the courses that will advance you in your professional development. You don't have to take everything everyone else is taking, stay in your lane. Do what's best for you. You can't be your best self unless you're doing what's best for you.
I'm going to definitely have to look into that because there are a lot of resources I didn't even know about. And you know, whether you're a military spouse and you're utilizing some of the resources that are available to military spouses, or if you’re not because I know that there's a lot of listeners here that aren't. A lot of the companies that you work for, do offer online courses. So reach out to your manager, and ask them what online courses are available; if you want to sharpen your skill sets with Excel or PowerPoint or leadership or communication, then ask them. And if they don't offer that, then ask them if you can invest in somebody outside your organization. A lot of times, companies will pay for it; it's just a matter of you taking the initiative and saying, “Hey, I want to advance my career. I want to continue to add value to this organization.” And that's why I'm asking that not only do you invest the time, but you're also investing in contribution towards the financial aspect. It always helps to ask and a lot of companies will also pay for higher education as well. So if you want to go back to your to get your master's or you want to go get your MBA, then companies often will pay for it, it's just a matter of reaching out to a manager. There are a lot of companies that do actually set aside a lot of ms for educational resources for their employees.
And so having those opportunities, you've got to take the initiative and show that you want to learn and ask. If you ask, they will be like, “Hey, yeah, we actually do have this money. And a lot of times, most people don't take advantage because they don't realize it's an option for them. But if you work, whatever lane you work in, like say you work for a news company or something that has internal communications, you can get your SEO Certification or marketing certifications. I mean, social media right now is hot. All companies are using social media, and in all of them, you need to know what you're doing. And so they will pay for you to take these courses. And this course will not only help you in the particular job that you're in now, but it'll also help you in the future as well. And so people just need to, you know, kind of get bussed out of our shells and just ask. It is a matter of asking because I've had some companies where clients have gone to their company and said, “Would you invest in my development?” This is a career coach that I want to work with. And I've had some companies that have paid for the whole program. And then I've had some companies that say, “We'll go ahead and pay for half.” But I mean, you'll never know unless you ask.
How to Maximize the Unique Living Environment of Military Spouses
So another challenge that we kind of have as military spouses, I always joke around and say that while my husband loves me dearly, there's a reality that the military always comes first. You know, there's just going to be times where I remember I was sitting around a table with a bunch of other military spouses. And we were talking about our different stories. And I'm going “Okay, yeah, my husband and I married for eight years, we spent three anniversaries together.” I had another military spouse that said, “Yeah, two weeks after I delivered my baby, my husband was deployed.” And I had another military spouse that said, “Yeah, but we didn't live in the same area in the same state for two years.” Wow. And it's just kind of the unique environment of being a military spouse. And so sometimes, while the love is there with us, there's just a reality the military comes first. They can call him in at any time. So with that said, there are extended periods of time where they're gone, or they're called in last minute for missions, or there are times where I know I've had some development programs that I wanted to get involved in, signed up, but then I had to cancel just because he was going to be deployed and I would stay home with the kids. So how can you support your spouse's career and your career because you are a career-driven woman? Absolutely. And I'm not gonna lie. It has been a challenge. We haven't gone without struggle. But one of the best things that I've learned to do is be honest with yourself. Be honest with yourself about time management. Be honest with yourself about organization within your business and the strategy that you're using.
One thing I know is I can't go as fast as I can when my husband is home, right? Because I'm by myself, now I've got all the kids. And so, you know, when I'm on a podcast, and they just got home from school, they bust in the door, my electric stop sign fence isn't working; clearly, I have a stop sign on my door which doesn't work. But you have to give yourself grace, right? During those periods, you have to give yourself grace, you have to organize your time. And you have to be aware of the time that you're spending working. Because that's one of the things that when you have your spouse home, you can do so much more, you have that support, that physical help, that's there. So one thing I say is, again, give yourself grace, account for the time that you have and be real about it. Be honest with yourself. I know that when my husband is home, I can do two good solid hours of work before I need to pick up clothes from the cleaners, cook dinner, or prepare for the kids to come home or go to cheerleading. And so be honest with yourself. Instead of giving myself an eight-hour work day and then stressing about not getting that eight hours of work done, I give myself two uninterrupted hours. And you will realize how much work you can actually get done being focused just for those two hours. Instead of stressing about eight hours of work.
Yeah, highly focused. And I would add to that, too. I like how you use the word grace because there are going to be times I've found in my husband – I will be married nine years on March 1 – and one of the things that I've kind of learned through this journey is that there's going to be different times where we take lead and support each other in our career. So when my husband was joining the army, and we were relocating, you know, he took a little bit of a lead in his career and advanced in his career. On the flip side, I was also because he was so dedicated to him going to aviation school. I took on a lot of extra projects, when it came to my own development, getting very involved in corporate. And while my husband is deployed, I can actually get a lot done with extra projects because I'm at home by myself a lot of times at night. But there's also been times where when he got back from his deployment, and I said, “Hey, I'm going to be starting this business.” He said, “You know what, the past couple of years you have supported me so much in my career. This is your time, this is your time to shine, this is your time to build the business.” And so I say that because there are going to be different times where you're going to support each other, you can work simultaneously in growing your career, and then there are some times that you're going to take lead in different areas. Absolutely, I agree. And my husband and I have dealt with that as well.
Being Graceful to Yourself is Part of the Learning Process
One thing that worked well for us was for us to learn our strengths and our weaknesses. So one thing I can do is I can count on him to cook dinner, right? So let's say let's commit, I want you to commit to cooking dinner this amount of times per week, or I want you to commit to doing laundry. You know, honestly, when within our first couple of years of marriage, the first time he poured half a thing of laundry soap into our clothes. Like I did a five-year hiatus of him touching laundry. I was like, he can't touch my laundry. But I learned that wasn't his strength, right? So work with those strengths. I know that my strength isn't trying to do all the things when he's here because again, I have to support his career. And so it's kind of like a tug of war battle, right? Because you're like, No, I have to go out of town. I need to do this. I need to do that. There were times when my husband was out of town. And my boss called and said, “Can you come to Kansas?” Of course, then, I'm calling the nanny, get the nanny here, you know, and you've got to spend the night and so have that stuff prepared. Also, as a mother, I do have a sheet of what to do with my children, everything they don't like because one thing I don't want is I don't want it to make it hard for the nanny either, right? You want everything to be easy. Because the easier your life is, the more work you can get done, the happier your family is, and you know, the better your home environment is. And so, again, that grace, giving yourself that grace, equipping yourself authentically with what you truly need.
When I first started this journey as a professional, I lied to myself, right? Because I thought that I can do all the things without the support I needed. So as a new newer military spouse, I was like, I can do this, this, and this, and this, and then he can still have his career and I can have babies, but then once the baby started coming out, and life was getting real, I realized, “Okay, this isn't working for me. I've got to be honest with my time management, I've got to be honest with what I can do.” So chicken nuggets, don't bother me anymore. I'm fine with McDonald's. That's okay. And if you're not, that's also okay. If you're able to cook, that's great. But if you can order out, give yourself that grace and order out. Know that everything cannot be perfect all the time. Some things are gonna fall in. That's okay. So my kids are super healthy kids. The chicken nuggets haven't killed them yet. So, you know, that's something that I've given myself grace on. I did use to kind of guilt myself like, Oh, we're getting chicken nuggets. I mean, there was one time for weeks straight, I think we ate chicken nuggets every single day. And it was just bad. I was like, Oh, they're gonna turn into chicken nuggets. It's the whole thing. But that didn't happen, right? My kids were okay. And I was okay because I wasn't stressed out. Because if you cook, now we've got to wash dishes. And you know, now we've got to prepare what to cook and go to the store. And so all of that was unnecessary.
Also, lighten your load, right? Outsource the things that are not your greatest strengths. So don't try to take on everything yourself. If you can get someone to do your laundry, send your laundry out. If you can get someone to clean your home, even if it's once a month, have someone come clean your home. If you can get freshly delivered meals, do that. But take those steps to make your life easier because you're not going to get an award for being overwhelmed, right? There is no Mom of the Year Award for being overwhelmed. There isn't a trophy. There's not a big cheque or two weeks' worth of rest. And I'm not gonna lie, I had COVID in October. And I literally told my husband the other day, I'm like, I'm exhausted that week I had COVID. I didn't do anything but lay in the bed. I slept for a week straight. I was like, that's not really sounding bad right now. But that's because I've been on the go. And that's what we do to ourselves, right? We were on the go so much that we crash, we will literally crash and burn. So instead of doing that, realize what your strengths are versus your weaknesses, and outsource those weaknesses. And it's okay. Don't feel guilty about that. There are so many nuggets that you just put in there.
I agree with you. I'm a big advocate of dividing some of the chores. So when my husband got back from deployment, I said, okay, we're both now here. And we took a list of inventory of all the different chores that we do whether it is laundry dishwasher, or taking out the trash landscaping. And yes, we do outsource a lot. Because if I'm gonna be working as hard as I am during the week, I want to spend time with my kids on the weekend. So I have somebody clean my house every other week. And I've always been that way. And also when we took that list, I said, okay, you pick a chore. So he's like, I pick taking out the trash. I'm like, okay, awesome. I'll pick, I don't even know what it was. But we just go back and forth. And so we just kind of divided and conquered, which was really helpful in creating that balance. And then the other thing that you spoke to is there are going to be times, and I've been there very much, when my husband was deployed for a year. I was traveling 60% of the time. My twins were a year and a half. And I remember one week I had a manager's meeting I came home for another week and then I was gone for another week for our national sales meeting. And I got creative, my nanny did overnights, and I flew my parents out to spend quality time with their grandkids, and then my in-laws. Sometimes you just kind of get creative and create your support system around you. Yeah, you have to. And again, you have to be okay with doing that. And you have to realize that you can't do it all, and it's okay. It's absolutely okay. If you can't do it all, I have not met a woman or man yet that can do it all.
Shifting the Mindset to Achieve Balance
Shifting that mindset to – because I remember I had a lot of guilt about myself for traveling that time period of being gone – and then I really shifted. My mind was saying, “You know what, even though I'm going to be gone for a week, my kids are going to have quality time with their grandparents. And they don't get that very often since they live across the country.” And so really shifting my mind from taking away the guilt and really going, okay, they get quality time. And then the times that I am home, I'm 100% present, we go on adventures every single weekend. I'm a big advocate of putting the phone in the other room and spending quality time with my kids.
That's so awesome. Yes, and I absolutely am here for that. I love going places with my kids, I love being present. And I was actually watching this funny video. And I wish I knew who made it, it was about Generation Z and then going to work and this guy got a new job. And he goes, Okay, well thank you for welcoming me to the Zoom call for my new job. And I just wanted to say that I have a few rules and boundaries. I live like to let you guys know, that I am available between 9 am and 5 pm. Before 9 am, please do not call me after 5 pm Please do not call me or act like I'm dead.
And I was like oh my god. And I was like these are the boundaries that we need to be setting that we don't honestly, I mean, I'm, if I get up to go pee in the middle of the night, I will come back to my bed and look at my phone at two o'clock in the morning if I have email. That's not okay. And don't feel obligated to always be present. Be present for your family, be present for your children. You don't always have to be present at the moment for your children. Explain to your children, “Hey, Mommy or Daddy has to work. And it's okay because we love going on adventures. And in order to do that mommy and daddy have to work.” So what we're going to do is, you know, like when my kids get home from school, they get 30 minutes of tablet time, because that's like their cooldown period, because they're all jumpy. And so they get their 30 minutes, then we come down and we do homework together. And then after that, we'll do our chores and be helpful. And then they get to decide what they'd like to do, I have one in cheerleading. And so she's got cheer practice and stuff like that, but have a true, dedicated time where you're present for everything in your life, whether that is your spouse, your job, your children, or your hobby. Make sure that that is an uninterrupted time where you're able to focus on whatever that thing is.
So you speak about really setting those boundaries. And one of the commitments that when I was in corporate America, one of the commitments that all of the managers made at one meeting because we were so overwhelmed, so we made a commitment where we weren't going to email or text message anybody past five o'clock, and that encouraged us to create balance in our lives. Plus, no one wants to get their phone dings at seven o'clock at night because it creates the idea like, “Should I be working? Why is that person working so much? Should I be doing the same?” And I acknowledged that there are times when I'd be working overnight. Or if I would be traveling overnight, I would work really late so that when I was home, I could kind of in my days a little bit early.
So one of the features, if you're ever using Outlook, I love this feature. There is a feature called delay delivery. So if you put an email together, if you're working late at night, and it's eight o'clock at night, you can put together an email and you can click a date delayed delivery. And you can have it automatically scheduled to send the next day after 9 am. Yes, I love that. And actually, Google Suite has it. Google workspace has it. So on my Google, I can schedule email. So I will schedule those emails for 8 am in the morning or 9 am or whenever they need to be sent out. And that way I don't feel like I need it either be there at that moment or I'm working late. Though that's okay, too, if you're going to work one whole day, then say that and stick to that but then the next day, that's the non-work day and you need to start setting those boundaries and time blocking your schedule to what works for you, your family, your hobbies, and your own mental and physical well being.
Three Paths to Advancing Your Career
You are wonderful, you are amazing in whatever you're doing.
Whether you have 72 jobs or zero jobs, you are doing amazing things. Give yourself grace, we only have one life. If you work until the day you die, you will be remembered as a hard worker. When I die, I want to be remembered as a loving human being that was there for my children and that also gave to the world.
Always be your best self.
Being your best self includes taking time for personal development and self-care. Because you can't show up as your best self unless you actually are your best self. So if that means taking a 10-hour nap, which I like to do. I don't know how I sleep so long but I'm able to because obviously, I'm exhausted. So take that 10-hour nap, take the time to eat some Chinese food, or chicken nuggets. It's okay if you guys have junk food for dinner. One night, I made my kids cheese fries and they were the most excited children in the world. And I had never made that because I'm like, “Oh my God, that's horrible.” But I did and they were so happy. And they ate and their bellies were full, and they went to bed, and I was able to finish my work.
Take time, and remember that nothing will be perfect.
But what's perfect, it's what's perfect for you. My perfect won't be your perfect, and your perfect won't be anyone else's perfect. But your life is the only one you get.
