Choices That Build Resilience with Yasmene Mumby
Episode 133
Are you feeling like life's treadmill has you sprinting toward burnout?
In this episode, we delve into topics that are often ignored, yet are integral to achieving not just success, but a well-rounded, fulfilling life. We'll explore how physical and mental health are closely linked, and why ignoring one can spell disaster for the other. We’ll dissect the importance of pacing yourself, even when ambition courses through your veins. We'll talk about why it's crucial to interrogate your choices and how a sudden jolt—changing your environment or habits—can propel you out of unhealthy patterns.
After this Episode, You Will Be Able to:
Master your physical and mental well-being
Seize control of your time
Achieve a well-rounded, fulfilling life
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About the guest:
Dr. Yasmene Mumby is a sustainable leadership advisor and writer.
Purpose-driven teams invite Dr. Mumby and her firm, The Ringgold, to consult and collaborate on their mission-critical organizational ambitions.
She weaves in her framework, The Easeful Leader, for high-performing leaders who are looking to reclaim their time, lead with ease, and build better teams. She combines her background in academia and wellness to coach ambitious high-level executives, leaders, and business owners to move away from burn out and exhaustion towards sustainable leadership for themselves and the teams they lead.
She’s worked with some of the most impactful organizations in the country and world including, the ACLU, The International Rescue Committee, Harvard Radcliffe Institute, Chan Zuckerberg Initiative, National Audubon Society, Faith in Action, and Working Families Party.
Her work and commentary on leadership and wellbeing have appeared in various publications including Entrepreneur, CNBC, Fortune, Essence, Black Enterprise, Yahoo Finance, and Poosh.
A graduate of the McDonogh School, Yasmene earned her Bachelor’s in International Studies and Master’s in Teaching from The Johns Hopkins University, along with a JD from University of Maryland School of Law and a Doctorate in Education Leadership from the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Besides that, she’s also completed over 1500 hours of training in vinyasa, meditation, yin, and prenatal yoga and teaches with HealHaus and Ompractice.
Connect with Yasmene:
LinkedIn Page Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yasmene
Instagram Page Link: @yasmene_
Website: Dr. Yasmene Mumby - Writer | Leadership Advisor
About the host:
Danielle Cobo is an international female speaker for organizations, associations, and the public sector. She works with audiences to harness the grit and resilience to lead through change.
With over 15 years of corporate experience in the medical sales industry, she knows how to build high-performing teams that increase sales, productivity, and employee retention. Her expertise includes corporate resilience and burnout prevention.
Danielle is the author of “Unstoppable Grit: Breakthrough the 7 Roadblocks Standing Between You and Achieving Your Goals” and hosts the globally top-rated podcast "Unstoppable Grit Podcast with Danielle Cobo.”
As a former Fortune 500 Senior Sales Manager, she led her team through downsizing, restructuring, and acquisitions to become the #1 sales team in the nation. As a result, she was awarded Region Manager of the Year. Her resiliency motivated her to earn four consecutive national Sales Excellence Awards in a male-dominated industry.
While her husband, a Blackhawk pilot in the Army, deployed to Iraq for a year, Danielle learned to balance a demanding job while caring for their energetic 1.5-year-old twin boys, who possess more energy than a squirrel after a triple espresso.
Danielle’s resilience led her to start her own business, helping others develop the grit, resilience, and courage to thrive in life and business.
Her tenacious attitude stems from being raised by an ambitious mother and recovering from being taken from her father and cast out at 17 years of age.
She is a two-time 60-mile walker and a monster truck driver in Louboutin’s.
Danielle has a bachelor’s in communication with a minor in psychology from the California State University of Fullerton, Certification in Inclusive and Ethical Leadership from the University of South Florida Muma College of Business, and accreditation in Human Behavior from Personality Insights. Inc., and Leadership from Boston Breakthrough Academy.
She is a member of the National Speakers Association, the Central Florida National Speakers Association Chapter, Innovation Women, and a former member of Working Women of Tampa Bay. Danielle serves on the Military Advisory, Workforce Development, and Women of Influence Committees of the Tampa Chamber of Commerce. She is also a contributing writer for Women's Quarterly Magazine.
Her experience includes serving as a Training Pillar on the Military Spouse Economic Empowerment Zone Committee and Career Transition Advisor for Dallas Professional Women.
Through Danielle's captivating storytelling, content-rich and motivational style, she empowers individuals and organizations to cultivate unwavering resilience, igniting a transformative path towards increased sales, productivity, employee retention, and collaboration.
About the show:
The Unstoppable Grit Podcast with Danielle Cobo explores the journeys of people who have overcome adversity and harnessed the grit and resilience to thrive in all areas of their lives, Guests share how they overcame difficult times - the strategies, mindset shifts, lessons they learned along the way, and actions that propelled them forward. From navigating career setbacks to overcoming personal obstacles, each episode is a testament to grit and resilience.
You'll learn how to develop the grit and resilience to lead yourself and others through change.
Join host Danielle Cobo, keynote speaker and author of "Unstoppable Grit: Break Through the 7 Roadblocks Standing Between You and Your Goals." A new episode is released every Wednesday at 4:00 AM EST.
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"Danielle and her guests are so Uplifting." <-- If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps me support more people- just like you -- develop the grit and resilience to thrive in all areas of their lives.
Are you feeling like life's treadmill? Are you sprinting toward burnout?
We are delving into the topics that are often ignored, yet are integral to achieving not just success, but a well-rounded, fulfilling life. Discover how to master your physical and mental well-being, seize control of your time, and live your best life. Whatever your ambition might be.
We unravel the secrets to time management, the power of saying no, and much more!
Hitting the Wall
I was a seventh and eighth grade Social Studies teacher in Baltimore City where I grew up. I moved into community organizing to support education funding and then I ended up traveling the country supporting other schools to engage the community to increase parent engagement and support also with funding for schools and curriculum. I was just on this fast track. I was in law school at night, then also got my doctorate and I hit a wall.
I hit a wall physically in a way that I mentally wasn't ready for but my body physically was saying, “You have to slow down.”
I literally lost my vision in my left eye. In a situation where doctors weren't sure if it was going to come back, we still don't know the origin of it. I was on my way to being blind. At that time, I was seeking support accommodations for this disability that no one could see, I couldn't see. The dynamics of “You look fine.” I can't look. The facade that you mentioned at the beginning of our conversation around like, people just thought I had it all together- everything was fine- that actually contributed to why internally my body forced me to stop. Because externally I wouldn't slow down.
So just dive right in there again. Now, I really concern myself with how I pace. Not just my time and my actions, but what I chose to be part of. Because that in itself was depleting and exhausting for me that led to other things showing up in my body. Tumors, my uterus, and my chest, and having to get surgery. I was just promising myself while I was recovering that I would never push myself to the brink of this moment that I was experiencing when I was healing because we weren't sure if I was going to be able to come back and have the quality of life that I took for granted prior to.
Overworking to fight off anxiety
You were teaching middle school. Middle school to me was one of the toughest years of my upbringing. Childhood is such a critical time in kids' lives. You're teaching during the day. You are going to school at night. You're this stunningly gorgeous woman who's successful and well-educated and looks like they've got everything put together. But your body was speaking and it was showing you something different- that it was time to stop.
Definitely, the internalized pressure I was living through had shown up in myself since I was in middle school.
Actually, that's probably why I became a middle school teacher because I wanted to go back and create a different experience and environment for other middle schoolers. Because it's a tough time. In middle school, I really started pushing myself in school because I saw that was an opportunity to eventually be set up for success. High school, college, and that whole track that a lot of kids find themselves overwhelmed. It showed up early in middle school with anxiety definitely. That pressure turned into my finding an outlet through doing more things which probably wasn't helpful. Like if I'm just busier, then I don’t feel overwhelmed or the acute anxiety. Until I take a moment and then it all comes flashing towards me. And that in itself is a form of numbing.
I continued that pattern well into my late twenties. Over a decade-long experience of pushing myself beyond, beyond, beyond, since I was in middle school. It just caught up with me and I realized that I just couldn't continue on life that way.
If I wanted to create more life, become a mother, and also make space for a partner, the pace I was going wasn't creating the vitality to even create a life I wanted to continue and be part of outside of work.
It sounds like a lot of your upbringing and the desire to be a certain way or perceived a certain way was somehow showing up in the actions that you were taking and creating this life that you wanted. But sometimes what we want isn't always what's best for us.
If we continue to put our foot on the metal and keep going, we will find ourselves in this situation where our body is physically shutting down on themselves.
What steps did you take to recover and get to where you're at today?
I had to methodically take myself through a series of practices and processes to first uncover why I was driving myself to the brink of exhaustion.
I had to reevaluate how I was spending my time and whether I was taking time away from practices that could be regenerating and supportive, like yoga and breath work or just taking walks outside, taking a moment and nourishing myself with nutrient-dense foods. Choosing friendships and relationships that were sustaining instead of depleting.
I had to look at what I was doing for most of my time. So looking at the course of work that I was part of was that imbalance, taking away from time I could spend with family that would also be generating. I had to look at my entire scope of living from hour to hour.
Interrogate why. Understand what the value proposition was for me. Like why was I engaging in this, and what wasn't in my favor?
Make some really tough decisions. So part of that was my choosing to relocate. It's funny, I tell people at that point in my life, I thought, “Look, it's either I'm going to go move to New Mexico and write books. Or, I'm going to move to Massachusetts to pursue this wild dream of going to Harvard which probably won't ever happen to me.” That's what I was telling myself, and whichever one wins is where I'm going to go in my life trajectory. And I ended up getting accepted into Harvard, which is an accomplishment.
I'm a writer by heart. But leaving home meant that I had to rearrange my entire life. 'cause I could no longer stay rooted in the practices that I had been accustomed to so I needed something that would jolt me out of the default. it was one of those two options. No matter what happened, I would have to be jolted out of my default. I like that. Jolted out of the default. We think of these situations and these challenges as obstacles that we face. Why is this happening to me? And we can spiral down unless we take action steps.
Welcoming the changes
One of the advice you give to somebody who is an addict is to remove the people that are of your friends that are addicts as well.
If we are in a situation where we're creating burnout within ourselves, we've gotta remove ourselves from that situation that is creating the burnout.
I'm hearing you say is jolt ourselves out of that situation, change the location, change your environment, change your friends, change your habits.
Because if we don't change something, we're going just to continue to go down the same pattern we've been before.
What steps would you recommend that they take in their life?
The first step is when I work with other folks who want to jolt out of their default and move away from burnout towards energy, sustaining, thriving, practices in their life, in and outside of work. I look at time with them. So let's look at how you're spending your time, hour to hour, and no judgment.
Time Energy Alignment Analysis
You are witnessing where you have placed emphasis on your life at certain hours of the day onto paper. You're just witnessing. I walk folks through a time energy alignment analysis because we wanna see how you're focusing your time, how that correlates to your energy levels and is in alignment with what you thought was important and essential for you to be part of throughout the course of the day. Because in the beginning, a lot of folks don't even realize they're misaligned in that, and they are deeply influenced by other people.
Time Management and Ownership
In 2019, my husband was deployed for a year. I was leading a team for a Fortune 500 company with overnight travel every single week. My twin boys were two years old at the time. And a lot of times people would, “We know you're busy.” They would make assumptions about what I could or could not do based on my circumstances. It always makes me so frustrated 'cause it's like I'm the person that manages my time.
I'm in control of my time and what decisions I make to choose, whether I say yes to something or say no to something. If there's anything that I've learned through that situation, it is to be highly effective with my time. When I was in medical sales prior to having kids, I remember thinking, how could anybody do this job with kids?
What I've learned from that experience is that you just get really good at being productive and short increments of time. So what I'm able to accomplish now in four hours would've taken me eight hours probably before kids because I just wasn't as focused and intentional with my time. And that's what I'm hearing with you when you're saying witness your time.
Choosing the New Life
I just had my first baby. He is seven months old. I'm with you. I remember wondering how do people do this with children. Now, I'm early in my process so give me grace. I'm even more discerning about my time because I wanna be with my baby.
I used to answer my phone at all times during the day, and now I am intentional in saying I would love to have a conversation if somebody asks if I have time to talk at night. I will say, “Love to have a conversation and touch base. Can we connect tomorrow morning?” Typically, between 5 and 7:30 pm, that's my time with my kids.
You're not going to get a very fluid conversation 'cause you're going to be interrupted a lot by me trying to juggle dinner and bedtime routine and bath and packing lunches. It's a lot in a short amount of time. It's being very intentional.
What else would you say about going through challenges in life and developing grit and resilience towards your long-term goals?
I didn't do it alone and I support you if you're listening.
Really intently in this part of our conversation, to not feel like you have to do it alone. That means I had a wonderful leadership coach. I invested in therapy to support myself as well emotionally. I also had a beautiful community of people who cared for me, and that all took intentional time to build.
Also, to create the time to devote myself fully to this process instead of just another thing off my checklist. So that meant I said no a lot. That's the second thing I would leave you with as you're listening. No is a complete sentence and it is very much okay to use it.
10 Proven Strategies to Ignite Transformation: Leading with Grit and Resilience
Physical and Mental Health Are Intertwined: Ignoring one can have drastic consequences on the other. Your body will send signals if you're overexerting yourself, and listening to them is crucial.
Perception vs. Reality: People may think you have everything together based on outside appearances, but only you truly know your state of well-being. Don't fall for your own facade.
The Importance of Pacing: Always racing towards your goals can lead to burnout. Learning to balance ambition with rest is vital for long-term success and happiness.
Interrogate Your Choices: Constantly evaluate how you're spending your time and energy. Make sure your actions align with your values and long-term goals.
Jolt Out of the Default: Sometimes, a radical change in environment or routine is necessary to break out of unhealthy patterns.
Time and Energy Alignment: Conduct a thorough analysis of how you spend your hours and where your energy goes. Are these choices serving your overall well-being and goals?
It's Okay to Say No: Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Learn to be selective with your commitments, and don't hesitate to say no to things that aren't aligned with your priorities.
Lean into Supportive Practices: Whether it's yoga, nutritious food, or meaningful relationships, surround yourself with positive and uplifting influences.
Motherhood and Time Management: The demands of parenthood can provide valuable lessons in how to be more efficient and focused with your time.
Ownership Over Time: You control your own time. Make decisions based on what serves you and your goals, not external expectations or assumptions from others
If there's one underlining theme here, that is intention:
Be intentional about what you want
Be intentional about the people that you surround yourself and the community that you're involved in
Be intentional about how you spend your time
Be intentional about what you say yes to and what you say no to
And being intentional is what helps you develop the grit and the resilience to thrive. It is about intention, and I also heard that being intentional about the resources that you're investing in yourself to support you through those difficult times. You got it. That's the beginning of it.
I'm sure we could have many more conversations, but if there's one takeaway for our listeners, it's to be intentional.
