How to Approach Conversations When Emotions Are High
Have you ever heard from a frustrated customer complaining about their lack of customer service? Maybe a customer goes on a rant over the phone about a recent price increase before you can say “hello”, or a scathing email about everything you or your company did wrong? Perhaps you have had a disagreement with a colleague, resulting in tension at work?
We've probably all been in one or both of these situations at some point in our lives. It's human nature to drop the ball sometimes. The person may be having a bad day, and you are just receiving frustration meant for someone else. Hurt people, hurt people. What do you do? What is the best way to win the customer back? What can you do to repair the relationship with your colleague?
This article explains the four-step approach to a conversation when emotions are high.
Listen
When someone is frustrated, whether it be a customer, colleague, or someone we interact with outside of work, two situations often occur. First, we may be tempted to jump in and fix the problem, but sometimes people just want to vent and feel heard. In the second case, we may react and get defensive to protect ourselves. Either scenario can exacerbate the problem. It is human nature to want to be heard, and that is exactly what people want when they are frustrated. A patient and listening approach is crucial to diffusing an angry customer, colleague, or friend. Listening shows that we care about them and are willing to hear them out. Sometimes there will be a pause in the conversation, but it may be when the other person is gathering their thoughts. Silence can be uncomfortable, but it's a necessary part of the listening process.
Acknowledge
Now that we have listened patiently and the other person feels heard, it is time to acknowledge their feelings. Even if we disagree with what they say, people have the right to express their opinions. This is the time to acknowledge the feelings of the other person.
Your response may sound something like this… "Thank you for your honesty and transparency. What I heard you say is x, y, z. (Repeat the feeling they used to describe how they feel). Then paraphrase what they are frustrated about. Followed by a clarify questions such as “Is that correct?"
Explore
Before you respond, the next step is to ask questions to explore the root frustration. I have found that, as a Sales Performance Speaker with 15 years in medical sales, the first objection is typically superficial. We usually discover the root of their frustration by asking "What else?" a few more times. It's typically on the third "What else" when we get the real answer.
Respond
You have listened patiently, you have thanked them for their honesty, you have acknowledged their feelings, you have asked questions to determine the cause of their frustration, and now it's time to respond. In this step, the other person is ready to hear solutions on how to fix the problem and move forward.
All of us will have difficult conversations throughout our lives. By following these four steps, you can diffuse situations when emotions are high and find solutions to move forward.
For a quick recap: Listen . Acknowledge . Explore . Respond
Want more tools and advice on approaching conversations when emotions are high? Check out the article "The Secret to Overcoming Objections and Earning Back the Business." Click Here to Read more
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Meet Danielle Cobo
Danielle doesn't just talk about sales; that's how she made a living. As a Fortune 500 Senior Sales Manager, Danielle led a historically poor-performing team to #1 despite downsizing, restructuring, and acquisitions. As an individual contributor, she earned four consecutive Presidents' Club awards. With over 15 years of experience in medical sales, she has taught thousands of people how to achieve their goals with unshakable confidence and live their best lives through keynote speeches, corporate programs, and one-on-one coaching.
Danielle is a member of the National Speaker Association, leads the Training Pillar of the Military Spouse Economic Empowerment Zone Committee, Career Transition Advisor for the Dallas Professional Women. Tampa Chamber of Commerce Workforce Development Committee, Women of Influence Committee, Military Advisor Committee, and Working Women of Tampa Bay member.
Danielle is the host of “Dream Job with Danielle Cobo Podcast,” a devoted military spouse and mother to 5-year-old twin boys. As seen in Women's Quarterly Magazine, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, ABC World News, Fox News, Tampa Bay Morning Blend, and more...
