What Is Your Life Vision
Today, I am sharing part of my journey of how I became my truest, most authentic self.
Have you heard that you're inauthentic or even hard to connect with? This is something I had heard a lot and really resonated with me. This year has been all about reflection for me and I think that my perceived inauthenticity was coming from a place of me not pursuing my life's purpose. Tune into today's episode to learn how I pushed past this and am now my truest, most authentic self.
"I hid my insecurities with this veil of success" - Danielle Cobo
Highlights
💫 2:31 How I became a Career Coach
💫 4:33 Why accolades can't validate who you are as a person
💫 6:15 What our vulnerabilities tell us about ourselves
💫 9:27 Why it is so important to let your guard down
💫 10:34 What results do you want today?
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Setting A Vision and Direction for Your Life
What's your vision? What's your vision in life? Where do you want to be today? Where do you want to be tomorrow? And who do you get to be when you create that vision? I spent the majority of my life hearing that I was guarded, that I was inauthentic. And it was hard to get to know me because there was really no connection. I spent the majority of my life hearing this. And when it really resonated with me, and it really frustrated me is when I was in my last role. And we did what was called a 360 review – we did this review where it was your peers, it was the people on your team, it was people outside of your team; they do this review on you and they talk about what are your strengths, or your blind spots and your areas for opportunity. And what kept showing up in these 360 reviews and feedback that people were saying is, “Danielle's inauthentic.” And I said, I mean, I'm unauthentic like I've shared my stories with people, you know, I've talked about my mom and just being raised by a mother of bipolar disorder. I've talked about some of the challenges that I have. So why am I not authentic? And I really spent this past year trying to really get deep in my heart and get to know who I am.
And how this journey has transpired is it first started with me leaving corporate America and not knowing what I want to do. And I was applying for positions but nothing ever felt right. And so I wanted to be in a leadership role in the sense of like, that's what I really enjoyed. But there were some aspects they didn't and then, you know, do I go back into a rep role. But you know, I feel like I've got a lot of leadership experience, and I want to share with people, I know what I want to do. And then it transpired into mentoring people. And so it transpired into people asking me, you know, how did you get into medical sales? Would you mind mentoring me? And I said, Well, absolutely. People supported me through my process, so why not use this opportunity to give back?
And through that process, people started saying, “Danielle, you need to be a career coach.” And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, I want to grow my business, that's a lot of work. I know the commitment that it takes to own your own business. And then one day, what really sparked inside me was when a recruiter looked at me and said, Danielle, you need to be a career coach, stop looking for jobs. This is what you're meant to be. And I was like, wow, okay, so to hear it from people. I've been mentoring, then to hear it from some of my friends to then hear it from a recruiter made me think.
And then the next step that I took was I attended this business coaching workshop. It was a two-day workshop, and it was all about translating your vision into reality. It was talking about visioning a business. And it was by Tara Aldridge. She's a phenomenal business coach. And I remember looking at my husband going, Okay, this is what I want to do, I'm going to do this. I'm going to invest in this business. And through the past couple of months, you know, I started all in March and, and through these past couple months, I started to feel these insecurities come up that I didn't even know really existed. And what happened was, is I had used success, accomplishments, and awards.
The success that I had transitioned over life, over my experience in corporate America, was actually hiding some of the insecurities that I had deep down inside. I was using these accomplishment words to validate myself as who I was and the value that I have as purpose in life. And what I've learned is through this process of owning my business, I now know what an authentic is, and what vulnerability is. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know why I had these insecurities. So then what happened was okay, I have put my action in my commitment and creating the results of this business. Now I want to put the action and commitment into creating the results of understanding what vulnerability is, what authenticity is, in search deep down in my heart, and get to the root of who I am, what I want to be, what's my vision, life, what legacy do I want to leave. And that's when I started attending what's called the Boston Breakthrough Academy. It's an intense training, it's absolutely worth it. But it's a lot. It was, you know, two days from, it's actually three days, – Friday, Saturday, Sunday – from 10am to 10pm.
Then another week, and this is actually it's about a four month journey. And through this process, that's when I learned what vulnerability is. I was broken down to the absolute core. And finding out what happened to my childhood. And what created these insecurities, that I used as defense mechanisms to protect and guard me, and shield my heart to then how it was affecting me in life. And how it was affecting me was people were saying, “Danielle is guarded. Danielle's inauthentic, she's not vulnerable. She's a perfectionist, we feel like we can't relate to her.”
Understanding What Authenticity and Vulnerability Really Mean
What I was tired of hearing was a fuel to commit to myself and understanding what authenticity what vulnerability is and why people were saying these things because I didn't understand it. I didn't have the self awareness to understand that. And through this journey, the results that I've gained through this journey is I now truly know what vulnerability is what authenticity is. I have shared deep, dark secrets about my life. My upbringing and my mom kidnapping me when I was two years old, to meeting my dad when I was 15, to some of the insecurities that led up to that point of abandonment – fear of abandonment and judgment and fear of being left and fear of unworthiness. I didn't feel like I was worthy of unconditional love. I didn't know what unconditional love was until I actually had my kids. I had no idea. And even still today, I still struggle with it. My dad's been helping me with my mom's house just just sold. And my dad's been helping me with all the stuff that's going on in California. He's moving all the furniture out. He's doing all these things. And I don't understand, like how could somebody commit to all that time? And he's like, do because you're my daughter, I love you, I would do anything for you. And so I've really struggled with understanding what is unconditional love.
And so through this journey, I've learned to really let that guard down. Let the guard down. Because when you let the guard down, that's when you get to have true, authentic relationships, connections. And the power of being vulnerable is when you get to share your story. Be who you are – the good, the bad, the ugly, your imperfections are part of your story. They're not bad. And if people judge you for them, then that's on them. I get to be who I want to be. I get to be an authentic. I get to be authentically me. Unapologetically me. I get to surround myself with people that lift me high. Hold me high, support me, challenge me. And for those of people that are out there that I used to fear to judge me, I don't care how you judge me, that's fine. There's enough people in the world. But I've got an amazing group of friends that support me. And those are the people that I get to spend time with. Because as much as I share my story with them, they share their story with me, and we hold each other high, we don't judge each other. I don't want to be a judgmental person. I don't want people around me that are judging either.
Questions You Can Ask Yourself to Help You Create Your Life Vision
And so my question for you is, what what are you committed to today? What results do you want in your life? Because results is a combination of commitment, and action. To take this a step further, this past couple of weeks, I have been working on my keynote speeches. There's three keynotes that I've been working on. And I've been kind of struggling with, what I know leadership is where my experiences; and you know, I've had these stories, but how do they relate? How do I have a personal experience of what I've gone through? And how does it gonna relate to leadership? And through writing these stories, I have committed every single day for the past couple of weeks to writing my stories, while also being sick, actually, my whole family is sick right now. We've been sick for like a week. But the minute they go down for a nap, I write. The minute they go to bed, I write. I'm committed, and I'm putting action, and I'm going to get a result through the stories that I've been writing about my life experiences.
And in the lessons that I've learned through these life experiences, the core theme is vulnerability. And when you get to be vulnerable, you get to create deeper connections as a leader, you foster culture within your organization. You get to overcome situations I've overcome severe postpartum depression. I've overcome abandonment issues of being kidnapped and insecurities in meeting my dad when I was 15. These life experiences that I've had have been the lessons that I've learned through vulnerability. And it's interesting that for as many years as I was told that I wasn't authentic, for as many times I was told that I wasn't vulnerable, that's actually the theme through all my stories. And that's what I get to share with the world, which I'm really excited about. And I get to continue to write every single day, as I work through this journey and as I follow my passion, and if they follow my vision.
So I'm asking you today, what's your vision? And who do you get to be? My vision is to be a speaker, a professional speaker, keynote speaker. Who I get to be is vulnerable, authentic, connected, passionate, and making an impact on the world that will be my legacy. And what actions and commitment are you doing to get the results that you want in your life? That's what I want you to ask yourself. Who do you get to be?
