Lessons from the Pandemic with Paola Rodriquez and Vicky Rolfe
Today, I am blessed to be joined by Paola Rodriguez & Vicky Rolfe.
Paola Rodriguez is a self-care and self-love coach passionate about having women fall back in love with themselves and create a life of freedom. She shows women how to fill their cup and keep it full!
Vicky, also known as The Body Confidence Queen, is a nutrition & healthy weight loss coach who focuses on body confidence. She works with successful women and teaches them how to nourish their bodies and release unwanted weight to gain body confidence.
“We're always in the past or the future and we forget about the treasure of the present” – Paola Rodriguez
"This pandemic has forced us to take inventory of where we're standing and where we want to go" - Vicky Rolfe
Listen on iTunes, Spotify, and YouTube https://www.daniellecobo.com/dreamjobwithdaniellecobopodcast
Highlights
💫 2:06 Meet Paola Rodriguez
💫 3:34 Meet Vicky Rolfe
💫 6:04 What did 2020 teach us about ourselves?
💫 17:36 One thing we'll be doing differently because of 2020
💫 27:54 Some tips for focusing on body confidence
💫 34:24 Paola's advice for really loving yourself
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I am so excited for today's episode. I have two powerful, beautiful, supportive and caring women. I have Paola Rodriguez. She is a self-love and self-care coach. She is amazing. I've had the pleasure of knowing her for some time, and she is just powerful. I also have Vicki Rolfe, she's a nutritionist and weight loss coach. She is focused on body confidence. You probably know her. She is the body confidence Queen. So I'm so excited to have these two beautiful ladies on for today's episode.
The Value of Self-love and Self-care
Well, so tell us a little bit about yourself. Paola, let's start with you. Tell us a little bit about what is a self-love and self-care coach?
So my name is Paola Rodriguez, and I am a self-love, self-care coach. and what I do is I support women in creating a lifestyle where self-care is an everyday thing and it's all based on self-love. So self-love is the foundation of everything, and I have found in my own journey, in my own experience that without self-love, there's actually nothing. And with self-love, anything is possible; anything you set your mind to and your heart to is possible because you start by honoring yourself – who you are, your dreams, your voice, and you take up space. You don't feel guilty about anything. It's not about being selfish, but actually being responsible. So that's what I do. That's what self-love is about, really going and doing the inner work, embracing your unique beauty, embracing who you are – the dark side, the bright side, all of it and making the best out of it so that you can achieve anything you want. You can create anything you want in your life and create peace and love in your home. So that then your ripple creates that in the world beautiful. Self-love is the key to success in all areas of your life.
Vicky, tell us a little bit about us, about you. You are your body confidence Queen.
Being A Body Confidence Queen
So I work with women and I teach them how to nourish their body and release unwanted weight; because we all have unwanted weight, whether it's £2 to 20, 25, 30£. But it affects your body confidence, so I help them gain body confidence. Body confidence is your ability to be successful and your ability for you not to depend on how you look to be successful. So when you don't feel confident in your own body, when you don't feel comfortable within yourself, it's really, really hard. A little bit like Paula was saying, it's really, really hard to be successful in any area of your life, whether it's your family, whether it's your work, your relationship. So without body confidence, in other words, feeling good in your body, it's really difficult to be successful and powerful.
I'm hearing kind of this common thread amongst all of us as coaches and what we do, and when I'm working with my clients, it's almost the same thing. I always start with, what are these limiting beliefs, these negative thoughts that we tell ourselves, and it all comes down to our self-love or worthiness, and when we truly believe in our power and who we are and we have confidence within ourselves, that's when that ripple effect of how it affects every aspect of our life – whether it's finding love in your life, whether it's loving your body and having confidence within your body, whether it's within your dream career and being powerful within your career, when you truly know your power, you have confidence, it really affects and it really supports all areas of your life.
Realizations and Learnings in 2020
So 2020 was a very interesting year. I'm going to choose the word interesting for 2020, it was definitely an interesting year, probably something that none of us anticipated happening. So I'd love to hear from you guys. What was the one thing you learned about yourself? Paola, I'll start with you. Well, what's the one thing you learned about yourself in 2020?
What I learned about myself in 2020? Out of all the lessons, out of all the things was that I am enough. That it is all about just coming in, and I don't need anybody else. I don't need the outside. I don't need to go out. I mean, we love all of that, but I don't need to fill myself with so many things or distract myself with so many things to have joy, to be happy, to be fulfilled. But I learned was the relief that I am enough because I've heard this a million times, and being a self-love coach is something that you say all the time. If you are enough, you don't need anything else. You're just enough. Enough period. But really, knowing what that means in every aspect of my life, in every aspect, in every minute and every second of being with myself, because essentially, you're being with yourself. Yes, surrounded with your family, that's in the same household and everything but really coming in and doing that work. If I am enough to create anything that I want, I could be miserable because of all the things that are happening, or I can choose to be joyful. I could choose to be grateful. I could choose anything. So it is up to me to create whatever it is, whatever reality I want to create in my own household, whatever reality I want to create in this moment right now. And so I think the biggest lesson for me is to see, say it, believe it, know it, and really stand in it that I am enough.
I mean, we talk about being enough, but what does that really mean in our lives? Vicky, what's the one thing you learned about yourself in 2020?
What I learned is that it's up to me to make an event positive or negative. It's my own decision. Covid is an external event that touch everybody, that affected everybody. And it's really easy to see it negatively. It's really easy to say, oh, my God, I'm stuck at home. What am I gonna do? Oh, my God, I can't see my friend and go a little Coco, and I think everybody, let's admit it, I think everybody went a little coco at one point or the other, right? But it's up to us to say, wait a minute. Let me take this time to spend more time with my kids, with my family. Let me take this time to work on myself. Let me take this time to, hey, lose those 10, 15 pounds that I've been accumulating and I've been saying, oh, I have no time. I have no time. I have no time. Guess what? You have time now. So take the opportunity and you choose what you do with your time. And the lesson in 2020 was, yes, it was a very stressful and unfortunate event and really sad event. I'm not going to take that away. A lot of people lost close family because of COVID, and it's tragic; however, there's always two sides of the matter and it's up to us to decide which side are we going to choose to matter. Is it the negative and the dark side or trying to see the bright side of the event that happens?
Making Self-care a Priority
Yeah. Life is about choices, and you said something about self-care and I can relate a lot to that because prior to Covid, I was traveling all the time when I was go, go, go, go, go all the time. And it wasn't until things actually shut down for me and almost forced me to really take a step back and really go, “Okay, what's important?” And your health is extremely important. You only got one body, you got one life. Make sure your body is your instrument. So if you're not taking care of it, it affects every area of your life – whether it's mentally, emotionally, physically, and for the longest time, I put off doctors’ appointments and things I needed to get done, and then finally, when things actually started to open up again, I was like, that's it no more, no more. I'm going to get the physical, and get everything that needs to be done to make sure that my health is a priority. So I love how you said about health care.
Yes, that was so important, and when COVID hit, I was pregnant with my daughter. So it forced me to take it slow and relax and really, really focus on my body, on myself and not be running around like I did with my first child.
Yeah, and that’s self-care. I remember that I even made it a goal, like a priority; not just saying it, but actually putting it on paper. How many doctors’ appointments I'm going to be booking, how many times I'm going to be going on walks, like actually tracking myself so that I could really see how committed I was, how serious it was about taking care of myself, how serious it was about loving me and seeing that I am important that this body needs some maintenance, that this body also needs some care, some tenderness. I care about you like you care, not self-care is an obligation. Just like Vicky, in my case, I actually made it like a goal that I could track and see. Okay, I did it. I did it. I did it.
It's interesting that you mentioned that because we all have small kids, and when it's time to take an appointment to the dentist for them, when it's time to go to the doctor for them, we will do anything to take that. They have to move appointment and to make sure that they're okay. But when it comes to us, like, this can wait. This can wait. It's not urgent, and I always say one of the most unfortunate things is that we take our health for granted until something happened and the doctor is telling us, hey, now you have cancer, so you need to take care of yourself and then you slow down. But unfortunately, it's too late. Then why don't we switch the mentality and say, let me prevent what can happen 10, 20 years from now and just start now to take care of my body either physically, with nutrition, with fitness, with self-care, whatever it looks like for each individual. But it's so important to start now that you're healthy and not start when it's too late, and that's a very unfortunate mentality that we have globally around our health and our body. No, it's not a priority in your prevention. It's more about the how do I fix this, I'm already in deep trouble? How can I stay away from it? You respond.
We do. All three of us women are, like you said, mother of young kids, and would do anything. My kids stopped this appointment, take them to everything, and then for me, I suffered from ER. I was recommended to have my Varicose on my leg fixed for five years. It got to the point where I'm wrapping an ace bandage around my thigh because it was in so much pain. I never wore dresses or shorts. I always wore pants as I wanted the compression on it, and it wasn't until things got shut down, I was like, okay, I'm actually going to take care of this. Like, why does it need a pandemic for us to actually take care of ourselves? I wish I would have done it sooner because I'm free of that pain. Now that I got fixed, why did I let myself go as long as I did and have a pandemic for me to open up my eyes to this? We always need an external signal in order to realize this is important.
I know that's crazy, that's way overdue and on top of that, now that I've gotten them fixed, I filled up my closet with dresses and shorts and living where it's hot and humid to wear pants. During the summertime was miserable. So five years was too long. It was a learning lesson. Sure, that would be the one thing that you would take from what you learned in 2020? When you took from 2020. What's the one thing you're going to do differently in your life?
Realizations During the Pandemic that Led to Redirections
So one thing that I would do differently and I’m practicing it right now is being present because it's so hard. It's so easy to be in the past. What am I going to do? The next thing, the next project, the next client, the next trip – always the next thing and also being stuck in the past. What worked? What didn't work? It was better. What wasn't so we're in this constantly, the past and the future; and we forget about the treasure of the present moment. We forget about just being here. Just focus here. It doesn't matter the next ten minutes, though, in the next hour, yes, there's planning and yes, there's the calendar and all of that really being present and savoring each moment, sitting down to enjoying meals and sitting down to talk to a friend and like, really being there in the moment. For me, it has been a threat to be present with the kids. Not just like pretending like you're playing, but you're not really there or pretending like you're talking to your friend, but you're thinking about something else. Really being present and enjoying each moment and from a place of gratitude, and a place of abundance, and a place of, “this is me right here right now, and what am I choosing right now that can create a different reality.”
Really, it's not about positive or negative. It’s how I am interpreting it, and what am I making out of it? I can be totally miserable because I'm eating peanut butter jelly sandwich or I can say, hey, there's a better jelly sandwich. Let me make it pretty and put it on a nice plate and sit at the dinner table and make it like the big thing. So if something, it is going back to the simple things, enjoying the little things, because that's where the juicy stuff comes in and being present. I think that's something that I will carry over to post pandemic and working on it right now as we see.
It's not being a victim of my time because before the pandemic, it was always go, go, go, go. I'm not the type of person who will sit on the sofa and watch TV. I always need to move. I always need to do something, and my husband's like, oh, my God, calm down. So I'm always moving and the pandemic forced me to slow down and the fact that I was pregnant too, it helps. Trust me, it helps, but it forced me to really slow down, to slow down and prioritize, to decide what what's the priority in my life and where do I want to focus my time and stop saying, I don't have time. And just say, okay, let me sit down. And I did this exercise and it was really eye opening sitting down and really writing everything that I do and realize, oh, my God. I'm doing way too much. I don't need to do all of this. I really don't.
But as women, we tend to put stuff on our shoulders all the time, and if it's not done by me, it's not gonna be done right. And to learn to trust as well; I learned to trust my husband more than ever with the pandemic because I was like, I cannot do all of this on my own, and it gave me a chance to really sit and talk with him and say, what about this? Can you help with this? I'm not a person who used to ask for help. I always wanted to do it on my own, being a lone wolf tested me and I learned because at one point, I'm like, when I can't handle the kids, the business, the husband, the house, that it was too much, and when you're going to work and you're out of the house for 10 hours a day, you don't necessarily pay attention to small, little things. But when you're in the house all the time, just a carpet that has a little funny thing on it, and you're like, oh! So it has helped me calm myself down and say, no, this is not important, because even if I pick it up and 2 seconds, there will be something else there because the kids will just drop something. So you know what? No, I don't need to clean the house three times a day. Let me go to one and then sweep the floor. Everything is good. So it's really to decide what the priority is for me and stop being a victim of my time. But instead, choosing comes back to choosing. Choosing what I want to do with my time and respect that.
Everything is a choice. I get to clean. I get to do the laundry if we are sitting there saying I have to do the laundry. I'm going to drag that for sure. How can we enroll family members in supporting us and doing the household? Because if we try to do it all on our own, we can. We're powerful women. But is that what's best for us? Because if we're not taking care of ourselves, then are we able to pour into our family?
Yeah, it's a really high price to pay for that to be Wonder Woman and do it all and take it all, and yeah, I can relate to what you are sharing Vicky, like, I am the lone wolf. I do it all. I can do it all and it's powerful. I can take it all on me, and really, it's a really high price, because first we're sacrificing the time with our family. They are waiting for us all the time because my husband back with his feedback, I've been waiting for you, and we're always busy. We keep ourselves so busy, and I know there's many things underneath that, but on very surface level, we keep ourselves in the doing and we forget about the being.
And what I'll be doing differently, moving forward, is I learned a lot about what I really want in life and what makes me happy, and I really took a step back saying, writing down all the things that I love doing, and instead of being in a job that I had lost my confidence in and I wasn't happy and I was doing it for the wrong reasons, I chose what is really creating something that brings me joy and being able to support others and following a passion and saying the times now, there's urgency. If it's something that you want to create, if you want to create something in your life, if you want to create love, you want to create shutting those pounds. If you want to create a business, the time is now because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring, and if you don't do it now, you may always regret that you didn't follow your passion. You don't want that, and your life will be a bunch of regrets.
How amazing it is to be alive with no regret. I remember I did an exercise with my husband and went to a cemetery. We’re seeing, walking around and seeing that life is so short, and we forget how precious every minute is and what we can create in every minute, and we think we're here forever. We know they're going to die. But it's that not knowing when that gives us this this sense of flexibility when we wish it. Let him that urgency.
Love that you brought that up, Danielle. Urgency – make it happen, make it happen now. We don't know what tomorrow’s going to bring, and like the fact that you have that desire in your heart, that is like burning inside of you. Why not now? Why not make it happen right now? Or just a really tiny step because it's always going to take you closer and that someday can be today. So that a year from now, you tell the story.
I remember I was in this fear, and I wanted this, and I was just paralyzed in fear, and then one day I chose to step in. One day I started my business. One day I decided to speak up. One day I decided to quit, and that one day could be today. So the sooner you do it, the sooner you'll be telling that story, the sooner you'll be saying, “I honored my dream. I honored what I wrote in a Journal when I was 15, and I'm living it now.” I think that's something that we can bring from the pandemic as a whole – that we we’re all in this pause moment to do an assessment of where we're standing and where we're going.
Simple Ways to Take-Care of Yourself and Create Confidence Within
So, Vicky, as a body confidence Queen, what are three things that you would share with your audience on how to create confidence within yourself? And I know a lot of us have maybe gained weight during the COVID-19 pandemic. We've gone through the higher lows of our emotional eating through this process. So tell us, what are a couple of things that you would share with our audience on nutrition and weight loss and focusing on body confidence?
First of all, don't try to change everything all at once.
We have a tendency to panic when we see the scale, we're like, okay, I need to stop eating for a week, and I'm going to be back in business. That's absolutely the worst thing that you can do. Actually, most of the people who want to lose weight, they don't eat, and I say it all the time and it shocks people. Like, what do you mean I don't eat enough? They tell me to cut my calories and all of that stuff. And the problem is when you don't eat enough, your body goes in a state of panic, a state of stress, and it activates your body to store whatever sugar or whatever carbs in your body as fat. So when you don't eat enough, what happens is that the hormones are released into your body, the cortisol, and then the cortisol’s job is to shut your digestive system. So the food that you eat in small amount is stored as fat in cases when you stop eating. So you don't die. Because your body is there to protect you. So when you don't eat enough, most of the time, you store more fat. So don't stop. Rule number one, don't stop eating. Eat more of the good stuff of course, but eat more. Don't panic. Don't try to change everything all at once. Small little steps.
The first step would be drink more water.
If you don't drink enough water and you eat a bunch of protein, it's damaging your kidney. So the water is not just there to hydrate you, it’s there to release the toxin. It is there to make sure that your body is working properly, and if you don't have enough water, you don't have enough gas in your body. So drink your water. And one tip that I can give you is if you don't know if you drink enough water, take a bottle of water and put some rubber band around your bottle of water. I don't know if you can see that there's some rubber bands at the top of your bottle of water, the amount that you want to drink. So let's say you want to drink four bottles of 500 milliliter. Put four of rubber bands and feel your bottled water. As soon as you drink one bottle, you move it down, you drink another one, and you move it down. At the end of the day, all the rubber band should be at the bottom. If they're not there, it's because you didn't drink enough water. So I am a visual person and that helped me a lot when I started because I used to hate water so that helps.
So those would be the things that I would say, and of course, that is all the fruit, vegetables and all that – before you do all of it, just calm down. Don't try to change everything all at once and drink your water, and just that will make a lot of change and improvement in your health in general.
Yeah, I worked in the skincare industry and water affects so many areas. You want beautiful, glowing skin? The first thing we're going to say is drink water. So that is very supportive advice, and thank you so much for sharing with us. Vicky, I have to try that rubber band trick.
They also have those days’ motivational jugs where you know, it says by certain times and I have one of those, but they're so heavy to carry. So I'm going to find my 32 ounce and put some other band around it. There is also the fact that you move the rubber band down, it creates a signal to your brain. You have accomplished something. I give you the motivation, you want it rather than at the bottom. At the end of the day, do you like it? Yes. When you drink from a bottle that the writings are on, it's great. Don't get me wrong. It's great. However, you may not always look at your bottle to see where you're at, so it doesn't create the same effect in your brain.
I love that because it's like when you have to do list and you just cross out something. It’s like, done.
How to Cultivate and Practice Self-love
As a self-care, self-love coach, what advice would you give to women out there when it comes to truly loving themselves and the power behind that?
It is something very broad and at the same time, it can be very, very simple and very simple steps in self-care. Yes, it includes the bugger bath and yes, it includes the many and petty things, and yes, it includes the facial and the massage and all of that which I love all of that. However, it doesn't have the same effect. If what's happening in your head, in your mind, and your inner chatter, it's not going to have the same effect if you're in constant self-beat up. That chatter only puts you down even if you're having a massage; if you're thinking about all of that, your body, your soul, your heart is not going to absorb any of the goodness, any of the most amazing bubble bath you could ever experience. So yes, it's going to help you shift, but you're going to go back very quickly to that inner chatter, that negative bot.
So part of that self-care that I consider everyday thing is choosing to love. Choose love every single second. So it could be in something very simple if you're committed to reestablishing a relationship. So what are the choices that you're making every single second? Okay, I'm worthy of releasing this £10. So I'm opening the fridge. What am I choosing now? Soda or water? I want to mess this relationship. What am I choosing now, to reply back or passive aggressiveness? Or am I choosing to just calm down, take a deep breath, and give love to this person because whatever you want to receive, whatever you want to experience, you get to really be it and get it first.
Having that conversation that I was sharing earlier in front of the mirror and cheering yourself on. It doesn't mean if you have a bad day, if you have this moment of emotions, it's not like you got to be happy all the time, but really be in the moment of “I get you. You're sad. Yes, it's hard what you're facing right now and you're growing. Yes, it's hard that whatever you heard, whatever they're seeing and choosing to be for yourself, to show up for yourself, choosing to love you in that moment, even with your flaws, even if you have dark circles, if your skin is messed up.” And all of that because we have those conversations with ourselves, like, “See, your hair is not good enough, you're not good enough or you're not speaking well enough.” It’s almost self-beat up. So when we flip that conversation, we are taking care of ourselves. We're taking care of our mind, of our mental health. We're taking care of who we are and showing up for ourselves. Okay. Yes. I failed again. I messed up again, and I choose to forgive myself, and I choose to keep on going. I choose to be with myself right now, and tomorrow will be a better moment. Next moment, next minute. Next hour can be different if I choose it right now, if I choose to act differently right now. So that is something that I consider self-care.
Time for you could be 1 minute, five minutes, ten minutes and communicating with people around you. Hey, give me ten minutes. I just want to be with myself. It's very easy to avoid yourself. It's very easy to fall into, “I'm too busy. I don't have time for me.” And sometimes it's because we're avoiding being with ourselves. We are avoiding being in that conversation of I'd rather be away from that self-beat up. It's like when you avoid somebody because they are always seeing something negative. Something happens with you. You avoid yourself because you don't want to be in that conversation. So carving out the time to Journal, or to pray, or to meditate, or to just take a longer shower and be there in that moment. Like smell the roses. They say, like really smell the roses. Enjoy your tea. Enjoy your coffee. What does it taste like? Play with textures and your clothes. Like how you're dressing yourself up. Sometimes even PJs with lipstick can do it. I have done it all the time, and it just gets your boost. And whatever feels right for you in the moment, just listen to your body, and I think that's the key note that you're really taking care of yourself. You are answering the calling of your body. If it needs a nap, it needs a nap. If it needs water, it needs water. If it needs a conversation with somebody, it needs to cry, just let it out, and it will really respond in a in a very good way. It is going to be a big, big thank you.
Those are some powerful advice on just the benefits of self-care, and beyond that bubble bath, it goes so much more beyond that. You guys have so much valuable advice on self-love and self-care and body confidence, and that we are here to support each other, and what we've learned from 2020 and what we get to create in 2020 when moving forward.
Danielle Cobo
Hey, everyone, welcome to Dream Job with Danielle Cobo. I am so excited for today's episode. I have two powerful, beautiful, supportive and caring women. I have Paola Rodriguez. She is a self-love and self-care coach. She is amazing. I've had the pleasure of knowing her for some time, and she is just powerful. I also have Vicki Rolfe, which is the she's a nutritionist and weight loss coach. She is focused on body confidence. You probably know her. She is the body confidence Queen. So I'm so excited to have these two beautiful ladies on for today's episode.
Vicky Rolfe
Hi.
Danielle Cobo
Thank you for joining.
Paola Rodriquez
Thank you, Danielle. It's a pleasure to be here and share the space with you powerful women and with Vicky, who is another powerhouse.
Danielle Cobo
Well, so tell us a little bit about yourself. Paola, let's start with you. Tell us a little bit about what is a self-love and self-care coach?
Paola Rodriquez
Sure, yes. So my name is Paola Rodriguez, and I am a self-love, self-care coach, and what I do is I support women in creating a lifestyle where self-care is an everyday thing and it's all based on self-love. So self-love is the foundation of everything, and I have found in my own journey in my own experience that without self-love, there's actually nothing, there's nothing, and with self-love, anything is possible, anything you set your mind to and your heart to is possible because you start by honoring yourself who you are, your dreams, your voice, you take up space. You don't feel guilty about anything. It's not about being selfish, but actually being responsible. So that's what I do. That's what self-love is about, really going and doing the inner work, embracing your unique beauty, embracing who you are, the dark side, the bright side, the all of it making the best out of it so that you can achieve anything you want. You can create anything you want in your life and create peace and love in your home. So that then your ripple creates that in the world beautiful.
Danielle Cobo
You're so right. Self-love is the key to success in all areas of your life. Vicky, tell us a little bit about us, about you. You are your body confidence Queen.
Vicky Rolfe
Yes. So I work with women and I teach them how to nourish their body and release unwanting weight because we all have unwanted weight, whether it's £2 to 20, 25, 30£. But it affects your body confidence, so I help them gain body confidence and body confidence is your ability to be successful and your ability for you not to depend on how you look to be successful. So when you don't feel confident in your own body, when you don't feel comfortable within yourself, it's really, really hard. A little bit like Paula was saying, it's really, really hard to be successful in any area of your life, whether it's your family, whether it's your work, your relationship. So without body confidence, without feeling good, in other words, feeling good in your body, it's really difficult to be successful and powerful.
Danielle Cobo
I'm hearing kind of this common thread amongst all of us as coaches and what we do, and when I'm working with my clients, it's almost the same thing. I always start with, what are these limiting beliefs, these negative thoughts that we tell ourselves, and it all comes down to our self-love or worthiness, and when we truly believe in our power and who we are and we have confidence within ourselves, that's when that ripple effect of how it affects every aspect of our life, whether it's finding love in your life, whether it's loving your body and having confidence within your body, whether it's within your dream career and being powerful within your career, when you truly know your power, you have confidence, it really affects and it really supports all areas of your life.
Paola Rodriquez
Absolutely.
Danielle Cobo
So 2020 was a very interesting year. I'm going to choose the word interesting for 2020, it was definitely an interesting year, probably something that none of us anticipated happening. So I'd love to hear from you guys. What was the one thing you learned about yourself? Paola, I'll start with you.
Paola Rodriquez
Well, what's the one thing you learned about yourself in 2020? What I learned about myself in 2020? Out of all the lessons out of all the things was that I am enough that it is all about just coming in, and I don't need anybody else. I don't need the outside. I don't need to go out. I mean, we love all of that, but I don't need to fill myself with so many things or distract myself with so many things, to have joy, to be happy, to be fulfilled. But I learned was relief that I am enough because I've heard this a million times, and being a self-love coach is something that you say all the time. If you are enough, you don't need anything else. You're just enough. Enough period. But really, knowing what that means in every aspect of my life, in every aspect, in every minute and every second of being with myself, because essentially, you're being with yourself. Yes, surrounded with your family, that's in the same household and everything but really coming in and doing that work. If I am enough to create anything that I want, I could be miserable because of all the things that are happening, or I can choose to be joyful. I could choose to be grateful. I could choose anything. So it is up to me to create whatever it is, whatever reality I want to create in my own household, whatever reality I want to create in this moment right now, and so I think the biggest lesson for me is to see, say it, believe it, know it and really stand in it that I am enough.
Danielle Cobo
It's a powerful.
Paola Rodriquez
Yeah.
Danielle Cobo
I mean, we talk about being enough, but what does that really mean in our lives? what's the one thing you learned about yourself in 2020?
Vicky Rolfe
What I learned is that it's up to me to make an event positive or negative. It's my own decision. Covid is an external event that touch everybody that affected everybody, and it's really easy to see it negatively. It's really easy to say, oh, my God, I'm stuck at home. What am I gonna do? Oh, my God, I can't see my friend and go a little Coco, and I think everybody, let's admit it. I think everybody went a little coco at one point or the other, right? But it's up to us to say, wait a minute. Let me take this time to spend more time with my kids, with my family. Let me take this time to work on myself. Let me take this time to, hey, lose those 10, 15 pounds that I've been accumulating and I've been saying, oh, I have no time. I have no time. I have no time. Guess what? You have time now. So take the opportunity and you choose what you do with your time, and the lesson in 2020 was, yes, it was a very stressful and unfortunate event and really sad event. I'm not going to take that away. A lot of people lost close family because of COVID, and it's tragic, however, there's always two sides of the matter, and it's up to us to decide which side are we going to choose up the matter? Is it the negative and the dark side or trying to see the bright side of the event that happens?
Danielle Cobo
Yeah. Life is about choices, and you said something about self-care and, you know, I can relate a lot to that, because when I was, you know, previous year prior to Covid, it was traveling all the time when I was go, go, go, go, go all the time, and it wasn't until things actually shut down for me and almost forced me to really take a step back and really go. Okay, what's important? And your health is extremely important. You only got one body, you got one life. Make sure your body is your instrument. So if you're not taking care of it, it affects every area of your life, whether it's mentally, emotionally, physically, and for the longest time, I put off doctors’ appointments and things I needed to get done, and then finally, when things actually started to open up again, I was like, that's it no more, no more. I'm going to get the physical, and get everything that needs to be done to make sure that my health is a priority. So I love how you said health care.
Vicky Rolfe
Yes, that was so important, and when coded hit, I was pregnant with my second child with my daughter. So it forced me to take it slow and relax and really, really focus on my body, on myself and not be running around like I did with my first child.
Paola Rodriquez
Yeah, and that self-care. I remember that I even made it a goal, like a priority, but not just saying it, but actually putting it on paper. How many doctors’ appointments I'm going to be booking, how many times I'm going to be going on walks, like actually tracking myself so that I could really see how committed I was, how serious it was about taking care of myself, how serious it was about loving me and seeing that I am important that this body needs some maintenance, that this body also needs some care, some tenderness I care about you like self-care like you care, not self-care is an obligation, not self-care. Just like Vicky, in my case, I actually made it like a goal that I could track and see. Okay, I did it. I did it. I did it.
Vicky Rolfe
It's interesting that you mentioned that because we all have small kids, and when it's time to take an appointment to the dentist for them, when it's time to go to the doctor for them, we will do anything to take that they have to move appointment and to make sure that they're okay. But when it comes to us like this can wait. This can wait. It's not urgent, and I always say one of the most unfortunate thing is that we take our health for granted until something happened and the doctor is telling us, hey, now you have cancer, so you need to take care of yourself and then you slow down. But unfortunately, it's too late. Then why don't we switch the mentality and say, Let me prevent what can happen 10, 20 years from now and just start now to take care of my body, either physically, with nutrition, with fitness will self-care, whatever it looks like for each individual. But it's so important to start now that you're healthy and that start when it's too late, and that's a very unfortunate mentality that we have globally around our health and our body. No, it's not a priority in your prevention.
Paola Rodriquez
It's more about the how do I fix this? I'm already and the deep trouble. How can I stay away from it?
Vicky Rolfe
You respond.
Danielle Cobo
We do. All three of us. Women are, like you said, mother of young kids, and I would do anything. My kids stopped this appointment, take them to everything, and then for me, I suffered from ER. I was recommended to have my Varicose on my leg fixed for five years. It got to the point where I'm wrapping an ace bandage around my thigh because it was in so much pain. I never wore dresses or shorts. I always wore pants as I wanted the compression on it, and it wasn't until things got shut down, I was like, okay, I'm actually going to take care of this. Like, why does it need a pandemic for us to actually take care of ourselves? I wish I would have done it sooner because, I'm free of that pain. Now that I got fixed, why did I let myself go as long as I did and have a pandemic for me to open up my eyes to this.
Vicky Rolfe
We always need an external signal in order to realize this is important. This just wait, like, five years, five years, Danielle.
Danielle Cobo
I know that's crazy that's way overdue and on top of that, now that I've gotten them fixed, I filled up my closet with dresses and shorts and living in porno where it's hot and humid to wear pants during the summertime was miserable. So five years was too long. It was a learning lesson. Sure, that would be the one thing that you would take from what you learned in 2020? When you took from 2020. What's the one thing you're going to do differently in your life?
Paola Rodriquez
So one thing that I would do differently and I’m practicing it right now is being present, being present because it's so hard. It's so easy to be in the past. What am I going to do? The next thing, the next project, the next client, the next trip, the next always the next thing and also stuck in the past. What worked? What didn't work? It was better. What wasn't so we're in this constant the past in the future and we forget about the treasure of the price present moment? We forget about just being here. Just focus here. It doesn't matter the next ten minutes, though, in the next hour, yes, there's planning and yes, there's the calendar and all of that really being present and savoring each moment, sitting down to enjoying meal ans sitting down to talk to a friend and like, really being there in the moment. For me, it has been huge and it has been a threat to be present and to be present with the kids. Not just like pretending like you're playing, but you're not really there or pretending like you're talking to your friend, but you're thinking about something else present moment, really being present and enjoying each moment and from a place of gratitude and a place of abundance and a place of this is me right here right now, and what am I choosing right now that can create a different reality. What you were saying, Vicky, really, it's not about positive or negative. It’s how I am interpreting it, and what am I making out of it? I can be totally miserable because I'm eating peanut butter jelly sandwich or I can say, hey, there's a better Jolly sandwich. Let me make it pretty and put it on a nice plate and sit dinner table and make it like the big thing. So if something is going back to the mix to the simple things, enjoying the little things, because that's where the juicy stuff comes in and being present. I think that's something that I will carry over to post pandemic and working on it right now as we see.
Vicky Rolfe
Yeah, is very similar to you, Paola. It's not being a victim of my time because before the pandemic, it was always go, go, go, go. I'm not the type of person who will sit on the sofa, watch TV. I always need to move. I always need to do something, and my husband's like, oh, my God, calm down. So I'm always moving less than braid and the pandemic force me and the fact that I was pregnant too, it helps. Trust me, it helps, but it forced me to really slow down, to slow down and prioritize decide what what's the priority in my life and where do I want to focus my time and stop saying, I don't have time? I don't have time. I don't have time. I don't have time and just say, okay, let me sit down, and I did that this exercise and it was really eye opening sitting down and really write everything that I do and realize, oh, my God. I'm doing way too much. I don't need to do all of this. I really don't. But as women, we tend to put stuff on our shoulders all the time, and if it's not done by me, it's not gonna be done right, then that blah, blah, blah, and to learn to trust as well. I learned to trust my husband more than ever with the pandemic because I was like, I cannot do all of this on my own, and it gave me a chance to really sit and talk with him and say, hey, this. What about this? What about this? Can you help with this? I'm not a person who used to ask for help. I always wanted to do it on my own, Lone Wolf test me and I learned because at one point, I'm like, when I can, I can't handle the kids, the business, the husband, the house, that it was too much, and when you're going to work and you're out of the house for 10 hours a day, you don't necessarily pay attention to small little things. But when you're in the house all the time, just a carpet that has a little funny thing on it, and you're like, oh, so if it has helped me calm myself down and say, no, this is not important, because even if I pick it up and 2 seconds, there will be something else there because the kids will just drop something. So you know what? No, I don't need to clean the house three times a day. Let me go to one and then sweep the floor. Everything is good. So it's really to decide what the priority is for me and stop being a victim of my time. But instead, choosing comes back to choosing. Choosing what I want to do with my time and respect that.
Danielle Cobo
We get to we don't have to.
Vicky Rolfe
Everything is a choice.
Danielle Cobo
I get to clean. I get to do the laundry if we are sitting there saying I have to do the laundry. I'm going to drug that for sure. How can we enroll family members and supporting us and doing the household? Because if we try to do it all on our own, we can. We're powerful women. But is that what's best for us? Because if we're not taking care of ourselves, then are we able to pour into our family?
Paola Rodriquez
Yeah, it's a really high price to pay for that to be wonder Woman and do it all and take it all, and yeah, I can relate to what you are sharing. Vicky, like, I am the Lone Wolf. I do it all. I can do it all and powerful. I can take it all on me, and really, it's a really high price, because first we're sacrificing the time with our family. They are waiting for us all the time because my husband back with his feedback. I've been waiting for you, and we're always busy. We keep ourselves so busy, and I know there's many things, like underneath that, but like, very surface level, like we keep ourselves in the doing and we forget about the being.
Danielle Cobo
I would say, and what I'll be doing differently in just moving forward is I learned a lot about what I really want in life and what makes me happy, and I really took a step back and saying, writing down all the things that I love doing, and instead of being in a job that I had lost my confidence in, I wasn't happy and I was doing it for the wrong reasons and really creating something that brings me joy and being able to support others and following a passion and saying the times now, there's urgency. If it's something that you want to create, if you want to create something in your life, if you want to create love, you want to create shutting those pounds. If you want to create a business, the time is now because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring, and if you don't do it now, you may always regret that you didn't follow your passion.
Vicky Rolfe
You don't want to, and your life with a bunch of regrets.
Paola Rodriquez
How amazing it is to live alive, like regret with no regret. I remember I did an exercise with my husband went to a Cemetery. We’re seeing, like walking around and seeing like life is so short, and we forget how precious every minute is and what we can create in every minute, and we think we're here forever. We know they're going to die. But it's that not knowing when that gives us this this sense of, like, flexibility when we wish it. Let him that urgency. Love that you brought that up, Danielle. Urgency make it happen, make it happen now. We don't know tomorrow what's going to bring, and like the fact that you have that desire in your heart, that is like burning inside of you. Why not now? Why not now? Why not make it happen right now? Or just a really tiny step because it's always going to take you closer and that someday can be today. So that a year from now, you tell the story. I remember I was in this fear, and I wanted this, and I was just paralyzed in fear, and then one day I chose to step in. One day I started my business. One day I decided to speak up. One day I decided to quit, and that one day could be today. So the sooner you do it, the sooner you'll be telling that story, the sooner you'll be saying. I honored my dream. I honored that what I wrote in a Journal when I was 15, and I'm living it now. Yeah. I think that's something that we can bring from the Pandemic make as a whole that we were all like in this pause moment for pause moment to do, like, an assessment of where we're standing and where we're going.
Vicky Rolfe
Beautiful.
Paola Rodriquez
Yeah.
Danielle Cobo
So, Vicky, as a body confidence Queen, what are three things that you would share with your audience on how to create confidence within yourself and what I know a lot of us have maybe gained that COVID-19? We've Pentagon through the higher lows of our emotional eating through this process. So tell us, what are a couple of things that you would share with our audience on nutrition and weight loss and focusing on body confidence?
Vicky Rolfe
Well, I would say, first of all, don't try to change everything all at once, because that's the wording. We have a tendency to panic when we see the scale we're like, okay, I need to stop eating for a week, and I'm going to be back in business. That's absolutely the worst thing that you can do. Actually, most of the people who want to lose weight, they don't eat, and I say it all the time, and it shocks people. Like, what do you mean? I don't eat enough. They tell me to cut my calories and all of that stuff, and the problem is when you don't eat enough, your body goes in a state of panic, a state of stress, and it activates, I'm not going to go into all the details, but it activates your body to store whatever sugar or whatever carbs in your body as fat. So when you don't eat enough, what happens is that the hormones are released into your body, the cortisol, and then the cortisol job is to shut your digestive system. So your food that you eat in small amount is stored as fat in case you stop eating. So you don't die. Because your body is there to protect you. So when you don't eat enough, most of the time, you store more fat. So don't stop. Rule number one, don't stop eating. Eat more of the good stuff, of course, but eat more. Don't panic. Don't try to change everything all at once. Small little steps. The first step would be drink more water, and I know that a lot of people that go, you know, they all say that, but it is true. If you don't drink enough water and you eat a bunch of protein, it's damaging for your kidney. So the water is not just there to hydrate you in there to release the toxin. It is there to make sure that your body is working properly, and if you don't have enough water, you don't have enough gas in your body. So drink your water, and one trip that I can give you is if you don't know if you drink enough water, take a bottle of water and put some rubber band around your bottle of water. I don't know if you can see that there's some rubber bands at the top of your bottle of water, the amount that you want to drink. So let's say you want to drink four bottles of 500 milliliter. Put four of rubber bands and feel your bottled water. As soon as you drink one bottle, you move it down, you drink another one, and you move it down. At the end of the day, all the rubber band should be at the bottom. If they're not there, it's because you didn't drink enough water. So I am a visual person that helped me a lot when I started because water. I used to hate water. I was like water, so that helps. So those would be the things that I would say, and of course, you know, that is all the fruit, vegetable and all that before you do all of it, just calm down. Don't try to change everything all at once and drink your water, and just that will make a lot of change. Improvement in your health in general.
Danielle Cobo
Yeah, I worked in the skincare industry and water, I mean, affect so many areas. You want beautiful, glowing skin. The first thing we're going to say is that with water. So that is very supportive advice, and thank you so much for sharing with us. Vicky, I have to try that rubber band trick.
Rolfe Paola Rodriquez
I was looking for a rubber band because I have my water here and I'm like, I need those rubber band.
Danielle Cobo
They also have those days’ motivational jugs where you know, it says by certain times and I have one of those, but they're so heavy to create. So I'm going to find my 32 ounce and put some other band around it.
Vicky Rolfe
That not just heavy. There also the fact that you move the rubber band down, it creates a signal to your brain. You have accomplished something. I give you the motivation, you want it rather than at the bottom. At the end of the day. You like it? Yes. When you drink from a bottle that the writings are on, that it's great. Don't get me wrong. It's great. However, you may not always look at your bottle to see where you're at, so it doesn't create the same effect in your brain.
Paola Rodriquez
I love that because it's like when you have to do list and you just cross out something. It's been baiting you're like? Yes, or you check it off. It’s like, done. Done.
Vicky Rolfe
Yes.
Paola Rodriquez
I'm assuming this gets the same thing under. I did it, and it's really empowering. I'm going to do it. I love that.
Danielle Cobo
I'm going to go out and buy some rubber bands. So tell us you are a self-care, self-love, coach, what advice would you give to women out there when it comes to truly loving themselves and the power behind that?
Paola Rodriquez
Yeah. So it is something very broad and at the same time, it can be very, very simple in very simple steps and self-care, yes, it includes the bugger bath and yes, it includes the many and petty, and yes, it includes the facial and the massage and all of that which I love all of it. I love all of that. However, it doesn't have the same effect. If what's happening here in your head and your mind and your inner chatter, it's not going to have the same effect if you're in constant self-beat up. If you're in constant, that chatter that only puts you down even if you're having a massage, if you're thinking about all of that, your body, your soul, your heart is not going to absorb any of the goodness, any of the most amazing bubble bath you could ever experience. So yes, it's going to help you shift, but you're going to go back very quickly to that inner chatter that negative bot. So part of that self-care that I consider, like, everyday thing is choosing to love, choose love every single second. So it could be in something very simple if you're committed to releasing wait, for example, or you're committed to reestablishing a relationship. So what are the choices that you're making every single second? Okay, I'm worthy of releasing this £10. So I'm opening the fridge. What am I choosing now? Soda or water? I want to mess this relationship. What am I choosing now to reply back or passive aggressiveness? Or am I choosing to just calm down, take a deep breath and give love to this person, because whatever you want to receive, whatever you want to experience, you get to really be it and get it first. That's part of the thing having that conversation that I was sharing earlier in front of the mirror, cheering yourself on, and cheering yourself on. It doesn't mean if you have a bad day, if you have this moment of emotions, it's not like you got to be happy all the time, like, yeah, but really be in the moment of I get you. You're sad. Yes, it's hard what you're facing right now and you're growing. Yes, it's hard that whatever you heard, whatever they're seeing and choosing to be for yourself, to show up for yourself, choosing to love you in that moment, even with your flaws, even if you have dark circles, if your skin is messed up, if your hair is messed up, if all of that because we have those conversations with ourselves, like, see, your hair is not good enough, you're not good enough or you're not speaking well enough. It’s almost self-beat up. So when we flip that conversation, we are taking care of ourselves. We're taking care of our mind, of our mental health. We're taking care of who we are and showing up for yourself. Okay. Yes. I failed again. I messed up again, and I choose to forgive myself, and I choose to keep on going. I choose to be with myself right now, and tomorrow will be a better moment. Next moment, next minute. Next hour can be different if I choose it right now, if I choose to act differently right now. So that is something that I consider self-care to carving out. Time for you could be 1 minute, five minutes, ten minutes and communicating with people around you. Hey, give me ten minutes. I just want to be with myself. It's very easy to avoid yourself. It's very easy to fall into. I'm too busy. I don't have time for me, and sometimes it's because we're avoiding being with ourselves. We are avoiding being in that conversation of I'd rather be away from that self-beat up. It's like when you avoid somebody because they are always seeing something negative. Something happens with you. You avoid yourself because you don't want to be in that conversation. So carving out the time to Journal or to pray or to meditate or to just take a longer shower and be there in that moment. Like smell the roses. They say, like really smell the roses. Enjoy your tea. Enjoy your coffee. What does it taste like? Play with textures and your food played with textures and your clothes. Like how you're dressing yourself up. Sometimes even PJs with lipstick can do it. I have done it all the time, and it just gets your boost, and whatever feels right for you in the moment, just listen to your body, and I think that's the key note that you're really taking care of yourself. You are answering the calling of your body. If it needs a nap, it needs a nap. If it needs water, it needs water. If it needs a conversation with somebody, it needs to cry. Just let it out, and I will really respond in a in a very good way. It was a big, big thank you.
Danielle Cobo
That are some powerful advice on just the benefits of self-care, and beyond that, bubble bath go so much more beyond that. Well, thank you, ladies so much for joining today. You guys have so much valuable advice on self-love and self-care and body confidence, and we are here to support each other and what we've learned from 2020 and what we get to create in 2020 when moving forward. So thank you so much, and for those of you listening now, we are doing this on a live through Facebook, which is really exciting. But I also invite you to all be, including in the show notes for this episode link the Paola and Vicky and I invite you to follow them. They are sharing wonderful advice every single day on weight loss, nutrition, self-love, and self-care. I invite you to follow them and I also invite you to comment. Write a review on the podcast and share with your friends and family. Thank you so much for joining and create an intentional day.
