What not to say in emails (and what to say instead)
Perhaps you are sending emails that are perceived as passive-aggressive, but you are unaware of it. There is a high chance we have all done it at some point in our lives. Although it is not our intention, it is common to use passive-aggressive phrases without realizing it. However, these phrases can often be misinterpreted and can lead to misunderstandings (and even defensiveness).
The good news is there are better ways to communicate your needs and wants without resorting to passive-aggressive phrases.
What are the most common passive-aggressive phrases, and what alternatives are there?
Here are the top 10 most common passive-aggressive phrases to avoid in email...
Not sure if you saw my email
Per my last email
Per our conversation
Following up on my last email
Any update on this
Please advise
Sorry for the double email
As previously stated
As discussed
Re-attaching for convenience.
Also, avoid...
Using all caps (perception is you are yelling)
Red font
Underlining
Bold font
Instead..
Highlight in yellow
Use bullet points
In a study conducted by Litmus, people spend 13.4 seconds reading an email. It's best to keep emails short and concise. Live conversations are better than long emails.
Here are some tips on how to be less passive-aggressive and what to say instead.
Assume positive intent. Our lives are busy, and sometimes we forget or lose track of emails. It doesn't mean they didn't respond intentionally. It is also possible emails are sent to spam without the recipient's knowledge.
Pick up the phone or communicate in person. A live conversation not only opens the lines of communication but also gives people the opportunity to discuss how to achieve mutual goals.
Provide new information. The goal of every communication is to add value and advance the discussion.
Pose a question...
"Can I have your input on the below by (date/time)?"
"To move forward with the project, we need your (edits/review) by (date/time.)"
"Do you want to jump on a quick call to discuss the details of (project or question at hand)?"Sincerely,
Relationships are built on communication. We have the power to influence people through our approach to conversations and the words we use.
Dream Job with Danielle Cobo Podcast
Rated Top 5 Podcasts for Equality and Equity and Top 24 Business Podcasts
If you're looking to take your career to the next level, or simply want to learn how to thrive in business and life, then the Dream Job with Danielle Cobo Podcast is for you. Featuring interviews with top leaders and change-makers, this podcast provides actionable advice on…
Leadership Development
Change Management
Burnout Prevention
Business Consulting
Sales Development
🎙 Click to listen on iTunes and Spotify
Enjoy listening to the podcast, please subscribe and write a review.
Meet Danielle Cobo
Danielles' clients know the power of developing the grit, resilience, and courage necessary to thrive in a complex and changing market.
Danielle’s own resilience and courage led her to leave a highly successful Fortune 500 sales career to start her own business. She now shares the strategies from her award-winning career with others who want to excel in the workplace.
As a Fortune 500 Senior Sales Manager, she led a poor-performing team to #1 through downsizing, restructuring, and acquisitions. Lessons she learned along the way will help you to create high-performing teams and award-winning results. Her 20 years of sales experience was key to developing her expertise in leadership development, change management, and burnout prevention.
Danielle has a Bachelor’s in Communication with a minor in Psychology from the California State University of Fullerton.
She is a member of the National Speaker Association, leads the Training Pillar of the Military Spouse Economic Empowerment Zone Committee, Career Transition Advisor for the Dallas Professional Women. Tampa Chamber of Commerce Workforce Development Committee, Women of Influence Committee, Military Advisor Committee, and Working Women of Tampa Bay member.
Danielle’s book on Grit, Resilience, and Courage is due to be published in Spring 2023 and will be available on Amazon.
She is the host of “Dream Job with Danielle Cobo Podcast,” a devoted military spouse and mother to 5-year-old twin boys.
Copyright 2022, Danielle Cobo. Danielle works with people who want to develop the grit, resilience, and courage necessary to thrive in a complex and changing market. She can be reached in the following ways:
For more information on Danielles’s speaking, corporate programs and consulting check out https://www.daniellecobo.com/
Danielle’s book on Grit, Resilience, and Courage is due to be published in Spring 2023 and will be available on Amazon.
